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If your wife got pregnant by another man would you stay?

I’d love to hear what any husbands who stop by have to say in answer to this question. I personally believe that a marriage contract has been breached the moment either the wife gets pregnant by another man or the husband gets another woman pregnant. There is no longer a marriage at that point as far as I’m concerned. Sometimes I find myself holding very antiquated and sexist views. I’m not bragging about that as it’s nothing to brag about. I’m just being honest in admitting that I am not always consistent in my opinions and that my opinions about cheating sometimes change depending on the gender of the cheater. For example I can more easily find reasons for a wife to stay with her husband if he’s cheated and gotten another woman pregnant than I can find for a man to stay with his wife. It seems somehow worse to me when a wife steps out on her husband and gets pregnant by another man, and I see it as somehow indicative of a weakness in character when a man stays with his wife under those circumstances. To get pregnant by another man to me is just the ultimate insult to your husband. So I pose the question to any husband who is reading, if your wife got pregnant by another man would you stay and if you would stay what would be your reasoning in deciding to stay?

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If your wife got pregnant by another man would you stay?, 8.5 out of 10 based on 42 ratings
2 172 41698 15 February, 2011 Liars & Cheats February 15, 2011

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  1. Ferndogg

    I personally know of a situation of which you are speaking of. It does entail a wife being pregnant by another man and the husband is back and forth at the moment. One day it seems he might leave only to come back and say he doesn’t want to lose her. Although it is pretty evident that she is pregnant by another man it baffles me as to how he can look at his wife and go to family functions where people will assume he is the father of the child. I don’t know what kind of feeling he gets when people ask about the new pregnancy and congratulate them. I can only assume that he is desperate and feels he will not score anything better. I have to agree with you in that it is a weakness in character to stay even knowing that she was still talking to her baby’s father even after the affair was found out. Then he says he will give her another chance, huh? Obviously, she’s still talking to the other guy because she’s in love with him and not her husband. I can only assume she’s with her husband because she wants to save face in light of her family and friends and maybe he makes more money, who knows? But, I have never heard of someone being so desperate for a woman to put up with something like this.

    1. yeah right

      I personally went through this. 14 years later we are divorced both re-married. I can tell you it’s the most DEVASTATING thing that I ever went through. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel pain in my bones. I actually watched her give birth to the baby. NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE can describe how this event affected my life, and continues to this day, 14 years later. You have your good days, and your bad days, but you NEVER get over it. The absolute hardest part is the last thing my ex-wife said to me was “she had NO REGRETS, she loved the guy, the kid and said best of luck to you”. I think not having closure is what eats at the core of my soul. You ask yourself millions of times how can someone do this to another person and be proud of it? To make matters worse, she was supposedly ” VERY Religious”. I still am always looking for ways to MOVE ON. I wish there were more counseling groups of people who “went through this as well” as that might be the only group that can help each other.

      1. TB

        I am going through this now. Me and my wife seperated 3 years ago. I moved across country and she had a baby by another man who she doesn’t even care about. The pain is so hurtful. I Love her but I am confused as to what I should do. i don’t know if I want to wake with a constant reminder evrytime I see the child. The father is now in jail. Would I be a fool to involve myself in this by taking her back. This is her 6th child, I have 2 with her. Im afraid that it will destroy me and my kids relationship by me not being there. Could someone help me?

        1. jose

          One thing I learn it good to cry it out.and seek God for your own you can have a peace of mind in making has helped works.God has good plans for you.

          1. Sizwe

            This is has got to be the deepest pain i have ever felt, its been 3 years since i found out and it stills hurts…

        2. James Dent

          Man I’m going thru the same thing now IIT hurts so bad and I don’t know what to do she’s pregnant by another guy she had a one night stand with but she’s not with him we got back together and she found out later she was pregnant and now it hurts my soul I still love her but I can’t look at her the same

          1. Larry

            James Dent, Your not alone. It has just happened to me as well. My wife and I are married for twenty years. We have three great children. She stepped out while I was working. The other guy is a poor excuse of a man. He is a dead beat. I did not know what she saw in him. My wife feels bad for what she did and I for give her. It takes a real man that walks with God to forgive something like this. If you truly forgive her and she is truly sorry things will work out with Gods help. Most men will say to kick her to the curb only to their liking to pick her up for a one night fling just like the last guy did. Hooking up with someone that is married is just plain wrong. God sees all and he knows all. I hope this helps.

          2. Dan G

            They are not pussies! They are lucky man! Celebrate your wifes’ pregnancy! Get her pregnant with your sperm the next time. Be a father to ALL her children.

          3. Larry

            This is Larry again. The first six months have been brutal on my thoughts. I have been talking to people that can see what I’m going through. Most of them go to Church and see a different side of things and that has been a big help. I have prayed and cried and prayed some more. My wife and I have talk a whole lot about what has happened. She told me everything. Where it happened, when it happened and how it happened. The man that was involved lives right down the street from us. When we drive by, sometimes he is out there working in the yard or in his truck drinking. The man was not right for her and I knew it. He drinks, has no job, 37 and still lives with mom. I forgave that man as I did my wife. You may call someone like me a pussy but remember one thing. “Any fool can make a baby but it takes a real man to raise one”. Not saying what my wife did was right. But anyway, my wife and I are doing well. Something has changed in our marriage. The love we have now is stronger than ever. I have excepted the baby as my own. The man that was involved has no idea and my wife and I have agreed its better this way. I will say to all the men and woman out there that are or will be going through what I just have, hang in there. Ask for Gods help, forgive, and love. Well, that’s all I have for now. God bless you all.

          4. Eric

            Guys am also in dilemma ave bn in separation with my wife for 16 yrs three weeks ago she called me and told me she want to come back .I have one girl with her and she has another girl with another man .what take the girl who is mine and leave the rest or asumme them because the other man will eventually come for her daughter. The woman stays with her parents

          5. Frankie

            Bro, it’s sucks I’m going through this now. I just found out she cheated on me. She is 5 months pregnant, she swears up and down it mine. I ask her how would she know? She said she felt guilty and stop him. That she knows he didn’t cum. But how do I believe her? For the last 5 months she been lying to me.

            My life is so mess up now

          6. joe

            My story happened eighteen years ago when my two kids were young(two kids boy and a girl 4 and 6 years old that time). December 20,2000 around lunch break my wife called me at home from her work to met me at the shopping mall in order to buy something for Christmas. We agreed to met around 5:30 pm. Because I have to put my kids first to the baby sitter. I was late to met her by ten minutes. I looked around I could not find her. So I went outside and I saw my wife outside about to board cab with another guy. I called her but she just look at me as if she don’t know me. She came home almost midnight and looks tired and she didn’t even eat dinner. I asked her if she’s okay and I don’t mentioned to her that I saw her boarding a cab with another guy. I told her I was waiting for her at the shopping mall but I could not find her. She said, she was sorry for that because the hotel was busy so she cannot leave her work. By the way my wife works as a room attendant in the hotel that time. While she was changing her pajamas I noticed that her between legs had bruises and I asked her what happened to that and she said it was hit by the edges of the bed while she was cleaning. The following morning she called in sick for work. I asked her if anything I should know and she said nothing. Then one morning she told me she is delayed by two weeks. For that words I almost got heart attack because since our second child was born I don’t remember we had sex even ones. I told her we need to terminate it because I don’t want another kid but the reason actually is I don’t want this scandal will come out. I am an Asian guy and my third child perhaps will be a Caucasian mix. So we went to our family doctor about the problem and our family doctor confirmed my wife is almost three weeks pregnant. That confirmation was really like a big thunder hitting my head. The next day I went back to our Family Doctor and told about the problem and that the child is not mine. I told him the whole story. Then I discovered another story about my wife. Our Family Doctor told me that our first child was very difficult my wife. Our first child was born three months earlier and my was traumatize during delivery. So there will be an occasion she will be on mental block for few hours and my wife will not aware of her surrounding. It takes three to six hours before she can recover her senses. And there is no cure for this our Family Doctor me. I don’t know about this because when our first child was born I was working in Europe and she stay in Canada. So my conclusion is that time when I saw my wife with another guy that day she was not in her senses. I keep this secret to my wife until recently I was trying to call her cell phone but no answer. She supposed to be home by around 5pm as she finished her work by 4pm. She arrived home around 8 pm and exactly 5 hours she was missing. I asked her what happened? She said, she was just walking and don’t know where to go and she said wanted to call to me but she don’t know how to use her cell phone. For eighteen years I keep this secret to her, the day she was with another guy. She don’t remember anything. I told her the whole story and she just cry. Now I cannot concentrate and I am always worried she might going to another person and she’s aware of it.


          7. Done

            Just leave. I would! My wife is a bitch I swear she is cheating on me she never wants to have sex we have been married only 1 year. I’m at work all day I have no idea what she is up to. But if I found out I’d leave her. I have a secret bank acc and all my assets are under my dads details so she can’t get anything

      2. trish

        Being religious is talked about in the bible. Do not mix with the non religious or religious. I know some very religious people, it is the bible according to them. Being spiritual is different, It says it all when they make vows but do not keep them. Their actions say it all, i have been there and never again. They say one thing and do another, but they seem to believe that they are right even when they are flying in the face of their own words. The other man must be nuts, she is not showing loyalty to her own man and she is having babies with someone else. Those ones are fickle and they follow anything but a straight path.

      3. wtf!

        why would you even be there to see her give birth to another man’s baby? Shoulda kicked her to the curb

      4. Douglas47

        Hi Yeah Right,
        I’ve read your post a couple of times. It has really gotten to me.What your ex-wife did to you ,in my opinion, is the worst thing a wife can do to her husband. Being that there is no remorse on her part, realize that she is unworthy to have your children. I hope you can find closure in the fact that she was not a good woman and take comfort in the love of your current wife.

      5. Gregg Alkerton

        I have been put through this myself, My wife and I have 5 children and I found out my youngest child was not mine when he was 7 years old, I struggled for the last two years to live with this and hold my family together, but in the end t was not possible. My family was torn to shreds my ex-wife lives in Tennessee with the youngest child and our son (16), I remained in Canada with our other three children (17, 16, 15). my children lost their mother and I lost apart of my soul.

      6. Bryant

        Hi! I am currently on the same situation that you’ve gone through. My wife is working on a different country we have a 2 year old daughter, after 6 months of her stay there, I just found out 5 days ago that she’s cheating on me and now she is pregnant. I love her and I want to stay with her and become the father of the baby in her womb. The other guy left her after knowing that she is now pregnant. Every night, I have difficulties falling asleep, a part of me tells to save my self and my daughter from disgrace and a part of me tells me to continue loving her and stay with her no matter what. I badly need advise on my situation.

        1. Jack

          Hey man, I know the pain, but you need to end your marriage. She will never love you, and you will always have a constant reminder of that. It sounds to me that her career and how she feels is more important to her than you and even her daughter. I mean she’s left her two year old daughter for 6+ months to work. If you can stay faithful, why couldn’t she? We both know the answer to that. Divorce her man, and make sure that child is never put under your name. Also imagine the day baby daddy decides he wants to be a father and comes crashing back into your life? Protect yourself and your daughter and move on. Your wife destroyed your family.


          This is the worst test one can get.
          Just going thru the same as my wife is also pregnant for another man! Whatever she says r do has become so suspect to me. Have decided to stay with her for the sake of my family but it really hurts to the bones man.
          U need to be sooo strong n religious to handle this.

        3. Phillip

          If you want to raise another mans baby go ahead I just think that it sucks that these women get pregnant by a douche bag and the one that works hard to support his wife and kids get the short end of stick wake up guys and grow a pair

      7. victor domingez

        I have had this happen to me just recently, I have been with my wife for about 6 years now we have 3 kids together, well one night we all go it for a drink , I decided to tell my wife it was time for us to go home. Her co-workers tell me they are all going to to a bar ( my doesn’t drink normally) so I go to pick up our kids from the grand parents home ,she’s goes out at about 12 am she gets home drunk, I decide to help her . It has been now two weeks since this night and she was feeling hungry every night for about 3 days now so she takes. A pregnancy test come to find out she’s is pregnant by someone else that might went out after I left , she had sex with some guy she’s doesn’t remember if it was in. A car or bathroom ,but I am so heart broken right now and don’t know what to do

      8. Barry

        I had a wife that got pregnant for six months not knowing and then raise him as my own not his fault a mother doesn’t do this to her kids or husband of twenty five years devastating stayed in it for six more years a waste of time

      9. AJ

        I am going through the same thing in my marriage. Except my wife had an abortion. I was away for 6 weeks
        doing my dialysis near where my parents live. I come back home my wife has moved my stuff out the bathroom and has me sleeping on the sofa. Since I got home she has been out 4 times a week and doesn’t come home until my daughter gets ready for school. Then acts like nothing happened this chick was real slick since she works at a club part time she would leave the club and starting messing with this fat sloppy dude. While I was gone she let this dude truck. I found out recently that while was away she got pregnant by this dude. But like I said earlier she got an abortion. But I am done with her. And sad fact is that we have 3 kids of our own all daughters. So how do u think I feel about this subject. Like Snoop said it best B**chez ain’t S**t

      10. Daryl

        I am going through this right now I’m trying to raise this baby girl she is 6 weeks old. I don’t really have a connection with her at all. I am currently waiting for a DNA test to prove or disprove the paternity but every time I look at her I see the guy she cheated on with me I’m unsure what is going to happen next

  2. Petra Spahr

    My husband and I have already discussed this. He said that if I cannot become pregnant because he is not producing enough or viable sperm (something that is a genuine health issue with him) I can get pregnant by another man. It would be like sperm donation, but much simpler. He says that when I have a child he will love it as his own and he will not even inquire of its paternal origins. At his insistance we are looking into making this binding beforehand.

    1. Mark W

      Don’t have sex with the other man to conceive the child:
      - You can use an anonymous sperm donor, so your husband doesn’t have to go through the agony of your affair (however temporary) with the other man. It would probably, ultimately kill him and you would likely divorce in the end.

        1. Don

          OK maybe our situation is different. I am unable to father children and my wife so desperately wanted to go thru the entire natural childbirth thing. We discussed artificial from a donor bank and neither of us found that acceptable.
          We discussed several alternatives and the one we decided on was getting someone we knew to donate. The problem with that was we also did not want them to know they where the father.
          An old boyfriend of hers was in town for a few weeks. He was an exceptional person, very intelligent and very athletic and she knew the family history. We also knew he still was very attracted to my wife. They only broke up when he went out of state for college and we met and married.
          She called him and made a date to catch up. Seducing him was no problem, the problem was how was I going to feel? I swallowed my pride and told her to go ahead. She came home very late that night and all she said was everything went really well.
          I didn’t pry, maybe I just didn’t want to hear. The next night they met again and almost every night for two weeks then he left. She became pregnant and all went well, we had a wonderful baby girl. One day I opened our computer and she had left her emails open. They had never stopped communicating.
          She had made plans to see him that next weekend as he would be in town. I waited for her to say something but on that Friday she said she had made plans to go out with a few of her girlfriends. That is when it really hurt.
          She left and I followed. They had dinner and then I followed them to his hotel room. I waited until well after midnight when she called and said she had gotten very drunk and was going to spend the night at her girlfriends house. I just went home and cried.
          She came in the next morning like nothing happened and soon she was pregnant again. It was then she admitted to seeing him again. It was also then when she told me she was having a hard time letting him go.
          That was four years and two other children ago. I found out he was married all that time. She does not want to leave me or our family but also wants to keep seeing him when he comes in town.
          We have a great life together and I have accepted what is going on. Is it a weakness on my part or strength? Maybe both, maybe neither. All I know is I have a happy wife and family. Things I would not have if I did not accept the situation life threw at me. By the way, we have a great sex life too!

          1. Kenny

            I have read all these posts and I can tell that there is real pain in infidelity. I came to the US for college from Africa, at age 21. By my 3rd and 4th year I already had two daughters by a fine teenage African American girl, who I later married.

            I am not bad looking and I had that strange accent, that seemed to somehow woo women. Before I knew it, women were asking me out, showing me around, teaching me lots of things about American life and culture. That, of course, did not go well with my relationship and after many years, we divorced.

            I am now 51, have a total of 5 kids by 3 different black ladies; two adult daughters by my ex-wife, two 7/8 yo sons by an ex gf, one infant son by a lady friend in another country. That is to show you that if I even look at a black woman in a sexual way, she gets pregnant!

            I am no saint. I am one of those guys who enjoys seducing and sleeping with married women. I learned that art from married women themselves-more so married white women. I have slept with countless married women and learned to enjoy it. Some off those women would take no for an answer, were persistent, discreet, tactful, sensual, seductive, you name it. The wives most trusted by husbands are the worst in cheating.

            I have never made a non-black woman pregnant in my life. It’s not because I did not have a chance, it just has never happened and I always wonder why. It’s as if their eggs repel my sperms. As many non-black women as I have been with, I always feel I should have a few bi-racial kids. I want a bi-racial child and would love to find a woman who can let me knock her up. A married one or one financially able to raise the kid on her own would be ideal (not that I wouldn’t want to help). I can find a non-black woman for sex any day, but I really want to find one to have a baby with me, even with no strings attached. It kills me that the sweet woman I am with is past her child bearing years, but she is lovely.

            I do not believe the guys who have been hurt and posted here had much control over what the wives and girlfriends would do. Women have the freedom (married or not) to do whatever they want with their lives and bodies. They going to do what they going to do-whether we men like it or not, although that does not make it right. We just have to find a way to heal and stay or move on. Its life and life goes on somehow.

            While its beyond me, I think its very unselfish and erotic for some guy to allow his wife to get pregnant by some other guy and allow himself to claim and raise the child as their own. I find the married women who crave children with men (especially black men) other than their husbands simply irresistible. I have never destroyed a marriage, other than my own, if I can make someone’s else’s marriage or life happier or complete by helping them have a child I would. I would be delighted to share my genes with other races, even if it means accomplishing that through an affair.

          2. peter cole

            don’t mean to be crass, but this was an erotic read for me. You see, you are actually living my fantasy and best part is as you stated that your sex life is great. My fantasy involves my wife having a long-term intimate relationship with an ex boyfriend ahile staying happily married with me. I can only imagine, as she is opposed to the idea, but maybe someday she’ll give in to her desires. They are good friends and have stayed in touch through texting and emails. He is happily married and outside of a little mild online flirting, they have kept within limits of fidelity. I do know that she often longs for him and fantasizes about him during sex. She has told him that he has a piece of her heart and that they are soul mates.

  3. JS

    Going through this right now. I have been with my wife for 11 years, we have a 6 year old and I found out only last week is not mine.
    I won’t post my long and painful story her but suffice to say my wife suffers from narcissistic personality disorder, read up on that & you may get some idea of what I have endured. I’m a mess and can’t begin to describe how it feels to lose everything, to discover the love of your life  can be so treacherous & your child is in fact anothers’.
    I think that personal circumstance should dictate any decision someone makes & if you are with a sane, normal woman who made a mistake it may be very reasonable for all concerned that you stay, or not, but continue to be the child’s father. Same applies if you do not decide to stay or continue raising the child, after all why should the guilt of abandonment lay with the father who was deceived?? For me there is no real choice but for others out there perhaps there is. I would urge any man who decides to continue raising the child as their own to seek proffessional counseling before making any decision, you must be sure you are prepared to commit 100% for life and not dump the kid a few months or years down the track if things get too difficult, consider the biological father will at some point enter the scene and you will also have to tell your child one day. There’s a lot more to consider than the love you feel for your child, above all else you must consider what is best for your son/daughter in the long run & that means sticking it out to the end no matter what or you may as well end it now no matter how much pain it will cause you both.

    1. trish

      It always shocks me that women have unprotected sex outside the marriage. They risk catching something and passing it on, they risk pregnancy. I also wonder why they would want the husband to take on the child of another man!

      1. Paul K

        Well the bible says I should forgive my wife SEVENTY times, in 18 years of marriage i have forgiven 4 times- the last resulting in our 5 y o daughter to thelast OM.

        Still loving, stil ldoting, still together, and sometimes still STRUGGLING with it - there is nothing wrong in admitting this, i still have insecurities but there is a way forward

        1. Mark W

          Stay strong, and be a good father.
          - After an early-marriage affair that resulted in my wife birthing a son by the OM, we decided to make a go of it despite all that shrapnel. Over the years, that child, now MY son made it CLEAR that he never wanted to know his real father - ‘says he didn’t care enough to be there when he was growing up.
          - He has always, and still does call me Dad.
          - I have a beautiful daughter-in-law, and 6 amazing grand-kids that all call me grandpa! That other fool never knew what he missed when he didn’t stick around.
          - BTW, the genealogy charts only show the FINAL family not the one that could have been for the other guy, LOL.
          *** He can kiss my @$$! I got the goods in the end.

      2. Kenneth Bridges

        Because in my case my ex-wife blames me, my dad and mom, and even the child for her adultery. The son asked for a DNA test which we had after my wife had moved out to live with another man. So 5 weeks before his 18th birthday we opened the results. That was Aug 3rd 1996. I love him but the emotional pain has never gone away.

  4. Surfin' on in

    I would if the father were a black man (I’m a white guy) and it was something my wife or live-in girlfriend really wanted. I would only do that once, though, and she’d have to agree to have one with me as well. But it might help to explain that I’m naturally a submissive male who wouldn’t mind a cuckold relationship as long as it wasn’t extreme. I’ve always liked strong women who expect a high degree of devotion from their men.

    1. Dan Gellmam

      I want my wife to get pregnant by a black man! We are white. I want to watch my wife with a black man and when they are finished clean both of them up. I want to submit to a black man

      1. peter cole

        We are of a similar mind Surfin’ and Dan. While not into the BBC idea, nor even cuckholding, i have this obsession with wanting my wife to carry on a long term intimate and passionate relationship with her ex boyfriend while she stays happily marries to me.

  5. Rob Kofoed

    I actually got a married woman pregnant when I was 22, and she was 38. This was 25 years ago, and she told me at the time she was seperated, and on the pill.
    Come to find out over a year after the baby was born that she intentionally got pregnant, as her and her husband had been trying for 2 years with no success.
    We had unprotected sex 2 times, almost exactly 1 month apart. I have never got involved, although I wonder how and what my son is doing today.

  6. Greggyboy

    I have recently found out that after 16 years of marrage that 2 of my 5 children are not mine and that it she is not sure if 2 others are mine or not. My children are 15,14,13,12 & 7 and are mine no matter what. I am torn and devistated by what my wife has done not just to me but to my kids as well.

  7. Innocentwoman

    I am sorry for anyone who has to go through this. It is so unbelievably hard, but I do agree with the writer of the article that there is a double standard, and I am guilty of it - I would think a man is a weenie if he stays and raises a baby that isn’t his with a woman who disrespected him. I am on the other side though, as a woman whose husband cheated and he had a baby with a woman. At least in a man’s case, he isn’t financially responsible for the child, and the wife can obtain child support from the real dad. In my case, my family’s income is taken from my kids to support this harlet and her spawn.

    1. Greggyboy

      Innocentwoman : So what your saying is your husband should not have to pay for his mistake because it affects you & your children And yet the other woman is doing just as you stated she should and going after support from the real dad.

  8. Delta

    For those who are thinking of staying with the bitches that cheated on them I say grow some balls. Once a cheater always a cheater. In regards to the welfare of those children who gives a f**k get the idiot who f**ked your wife take care of them

  9. Daner

    Hey guys, I am a 25 yr old man who wakes up everyday only to be reminded of the heartache and devistation I face every day. When I was 15 years old and was new in town, I became attracted to this girl and even at age 15, being young and all, I was in Love. Not alot of 15 year olds can say they fell in love at a young age but I can say 100 percent, to this day that i still Love her. Now, this is where the story begins, I was introduced to her through my first friend in this town it ended up by conincidence that her and my friend had grown up together and their parents regularly visited eachother since they lived just down the street from eachother, so this was a bonus for me. So the first summer that i had been in this new town, me and her ended up going out, however it only lasted 1 week and she dumped me because I was too shy, understandable since she was my first girl and one that I loved. So anyways, the summer goes by and we end up getting back together, spent the weekand at her cottage and that’s where the magic happened, we bonded so extremely perfect. It’s as if we became soul mates just that weekand, realizing how much we clicked together, and I still hear her wonderful laughter in my head. So over the next 6 years we broke up a few times and went back out…I never did the breaking up. So each time she would dump me I would be devistated and the 2nd last time she dumped me I was so broken that during my time being single I made myself a promise, that if I ever got another chance with her, that i would get her pregnent so that we could be together forever. So amazingly we ended up getting back together, she dumped her bf and told him she coudlnt be with him anymore because she still loved me! The best day of my life! So we were together for the next 10 months and to make a long story short…I had been working towards completing the goals that we needed for our future, like I got an apartment for us and I bought a van for us and our future. Shortly after that, we got in a little argument and unfortuanltly it ended up blowing way out of porportion and she dumped me! So…I was so sad…and I asked her to come back but she refused. SO one day I’m chilling at home and My worst fears came true because my friend came home after chilling with my friends and my ex, he tells me wow, you were right….im sorry to be the one to tell you but Jen is pregnent

    1. Murdock

      Dude. You are just one big pu*sy whip. The slut didn’t really give a f**k about you and now she’s knocked up. Move the f**k on and find a better girl that actually gives a f**k(love) about you. Also, stop being such a f**king pu*sy whip.

      1. joe

        To swear and insult people who have gone through such horrific events shows how ignorant you are. These are peoples lives, and real pain. Just “get over it” sounds about as logical as buying a lottery ticket and EXPECTING to win the mega millions. How about you grow some compassion, and come up with REAL ideas to help people clearly struggling?

        1. Grandus

          I am sorry but unless he said something that violates the terms of the site. I do believe the person has a right to express himself or herself in the manner that is most comfortable to them. The person that is going through this situation posted this knowing that they may be flamed and perhaps it may even force them to make a hard decision.

  10. daniel thomas

    I spent the last ten years with a deaf girl half my age..trying to help her grow in life. We did everything together and I felt like finally I had someone who I would be be with for perhaps ever. She, I believe, was perhaps socially regressed except when around her deaf friends.
    Once, while she lived with another deaf girl I had met before..(before she and i lived together)..I told her it was not a good idea. I was right. That girl took her checks and forged $19,000 on an account with only eleven hundred in it which her dad set up for medical emergencies.
    I could go on and on..she was with me during my best friend’s death-I found him-and my mom’s breaking her hip..and later, mom’s death.
    I knew from the start we were different, but love grew… perhaps because she was with me through the worst time in my life, I was only aware and thankful that she was with me…we were living together by then..we lived together for four and a half years…
    I can’t get the image of her in the passenger seat of my car on so many adventures..long drives and just afternoon drives…and just to the store….
    Long story short (er)… She left me a year and a half ago over something she basically made up…her grades in a medical related field weren’t up to par at the beginning of the second year..when most courses get harder… and she ignored my urging for her to tell me if things got hard….
    I’ll skip ahead…don’t wanna bore anyone too much… today she has a baby with the ex-boyfriend of the girl who forged those checks…he jsut got out of prison last year… she blatantly denied dating a criminal… i found out only through one of her old friends….
    I wonder sometimes what would happen if she wanted back… I know it’s stupid… but one thing I learned from all this is that Love is blind… Sometimes I think I’d help raise the kid.
    As I muse about it all … it doesn’t change the intensity of my love for her….but it was probably more of father-daughter relationship..although her dad is a great guy… I felt so protective of her most of the itme…

    the other side is she is, as another contributor above mentioned..a narcissist, absolutely… after all I’ve done for her…( maybe it’s wrong to think like that)…she’s done the same things to her parents…
    last I heard she hasn’t even contacted her family , and her mom’s got a potentially life threatening problem…

    I know inside she wants to be normal..and having a baby did it for her…
    Sorry this is long,.. but it could have been much longer… I’ve made myself sick and I finally think now I may be starting to be better.

    She , as perhaps many of the women talked about here, has absolutely no regard for the efforts, love, and committment of those who have loved them… Just throws them away like Used People.

    Pain happens….Life goes on…. I guess we have to learn from it… or else end up on Jerry Springer…
    Wish I could get her out of my head…
    I’ll probably never see her again…
    Good luck

  11. trish

    No one is perfect, they are flawed. But you did have good times with her and she left you with some nice memories.

  12. sugna maharg

    If you have a traditional marriage almost anywhere in the world sexual fidelity is the keystone of that marriage. Two people marry in order to reproduce and pass on the genetic legacy. As part of that marriage requires a substantial commitment of time and resources. In the USA a middle class family spends about $300,000 and 21 years raising a child. To ask a person to accept that they have been lied to and to accept a broken marriage contract is bad enough. To then ask that person to raise another mans child with all the time, effort and money is ridiculous! If you make a deal to trust someone with your life and they break the deal - leave them - they have proven that they were only using you. If they try to add insult to injury - leave them and publicly humiliate them so that they will not do the same to another person. A cheating spouse is by definition and “bad person”. A person of low character. This is what they are and they will only continue to be that way. Do not associate with them unless you want them to bring you more pain and suffering in the future!

  13. mick

    hi everyone, I am mick I am 35 years old vie been married 11 years, abit about myself I joined the army in 1996 were I served all over the world and on many operational tours iraq, afghanistan etc., I met my wife in 2001 and I fell head over heels for her we married in 2002 and moved to Germany (with the army), we had a great life and life was full of fun.
    We started trying for a baby soon after with no joy, we tried for years and nothing.
    we decided in 2008 to leave the army and spend more time together to keep trying for a family again this didn’t work either, so after a year jobs were far and few between and money was tight, I decided to work away again, so I told the wife what I was going to do and she was happy enough for me to crack on.
    I started work in Afghanistan as a close protection officer on a number of diplomatic contracts, while I was away everything was fine the job was good and money great and I and the wife were happy.
    In December 2011 my life changed for the better as my wife told me she was pregnant, we agreed that we would say how many pairs of gloves it would be per baby, she had her first scan and it showed one baby, two weeks later she rang me in Afghanistan and said it’s not one pair of gloves its two well I was blown away, TWIN GIRLS.
    The due date was august 2011 but twins have to come early so they were born 21st July, I decided to take 3 months off work for the birth and to make sure she could cope with the babies.
    The birth went really well and we were a family( WELL AT LEAST THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT) I was soon on my way back to Afghanistan for another 3 month rotation, I was just getting settled back in to work when I got a message from my wife telling me we needed to talk.
    So I sent a message back saying what about, she said the girls, so I said what about them? She said there not yours I had an affair, I said WTF.
    I JUST WANT TO K*LL THE B**************D
    WHAT WOULD YOU DO???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

  14. Susan

    I think they both can work through this situation. They both should look what made the wife cheat in the first place. When you have a situation like this you should always look at the facts.

    1. Kenneth Bridges

      The fact is she cheated. She chose to cheat is another fact. His absence was not a reason for her cheating. Again it was her choice!!

  15. Michael D.

    I too am going through the same thing. I am currently deployed to Afghanistan and before I depolyed I found someone that would do this sexually, that my wife would. Betwine her finding out about that and years of being gone from deployments to Iraq (5 total), my wife of 12 years wanted a divorcee. During this time she found someone to sleep with. Now before she found out she was pregnant she wanted to work on our marriage once I came home, she wanted me back in the house. But she found out 2 days prior to telling me to come home to her and our 3 boys, that she is pregnant by this guy. I feel I can overcome this. Not like she was trying, and the fact I did the same thing. I have had the surgrey so I can get a girl pregnant. Not that changes anything, but I could have done the same thing. I want my wife, I want my kids and if I have to rasie this child as my own, then so be it. I just think that as long as he isn’t apart of the childs life and signs over his rights, I can do this….?

    1. Jen

      may I ask you a few questions?
      I have done the unthinkable… to make a long one short, I was away for prior responsibilities and had managed to get TOO drunk and an old friend of mine had used my easy mind frame to enjoy the night … I woke up the next morning and seriously thought it was a dream ……. When I realized it wasn’t a dream and that it had actually happened I went out that morning and got the “morning after” pill .. he did use protection but it failed miserably…. after a week and a half went by I figured it would just go away like it never happened but then I had symptoms fatigue REALLY bad, anyways… I took a test and dang it even after both methods had failed I am pregnant .. I am married we have 4 beautiful kids and my husband is fixed. We decided we couldn’t handle anymore for financial reasons… I have broke down and cried to my husband and expressed my remorse and how that man doesn’t mean anything to me … BUT to my surprise he has Forgiven me right away and expressed how he could never stop loving me but that i needed to not mistake that for weakness .. that humans will makes mistakes just most “Accidents” don’t end in a pregnancy… and that he is confident it will never happen again .. Does the Husband ever really love the child??? Do they ever accept the child ??? Does it really make him think of the sexual act every time he looks at the child????

      1. Rich Davis

        If a man decides that a child is his, more power to him if he can be secure enough to forgive his wife and love the child. Who the biological father is really isn’t important. People adopt kids and some couples use donor sperm. They don’t love their kids any less.

      2. Donny

        Look if you really want your family to remain stable then give up that child for adoption……… It would be best for your family and that child who will have a loving foster home……. This is the best way for all of you

  16. wayne holly

    I married my wife after four years of dating…6 months after
    we started seeing each other she got another man that she was seeing at the time..he was marriwd and i did not know about thier relationship at the time..thought the baby was mine..found out after the baby was 6 months old…she told me and the married man around the same time..the married guy did not want to leave his wife and did not pay any child support…even though she tried her best to get him to leave his wife by sleeping with him on a couple more times..unprotected and her not on the pill…i ended up marrying her and have been with her raising her kid with another man for 14 years..i love her and her kid and have had a wonderful marriage

    1. Charles

      My hat is off to you for allowing what you are. It takes a strong man and a real man with a lot of love for the woman . We have been married 14 years. She had a child when I married my wife and I excepted the child as mile and supported her we had out second one which was mine then I realized my wife needed more effect ion than I could give her so I allowed her with others. Today there are 5 kids I’m supporting and claiming but one is mine. I have been wondering when a black guy would try to get with her

      1. peter cole

        That to me is true love, free from old fashioned narrowminded view of a life long relationship. I too love my wife so much that i would support her in satisfying her need for intimacy with other men. It hasn’t happened yet, but she knows of my support. I just want to see her fulfilled knowing that her love is great enough for more than one man.

  17. Miguel

    I am currently in this situation, I have been married to my wife for 8 years in September. We have 2 daughters one of which is 8 and one of which is A year and a half old. I found out last year that she was cheating on me about 3 months after our second daughter was born. I asked her about it and she denied it, me loving her and wanting to be with her accepted her answer and moved on. About a couple of weeks after that she came home with marks on her chest and neck at this time I was furious and didn’t know what to do. So I did something stupid and tried to sleep with one of her family members.. We didn’t but it’s been killing me that I would even do such a thing. Well Christmas comes around and I find her truck in a nearby town while I was driving and called and asked her where she was and she said she was working. I went to check the truck and there was a phone in there that had pictures of her and another man hugging and kissing. Killed me on the spot.. I took the phone and didnt say anything to her. Christmas came around I gave her a really nice Watch and tried to make the best of everything. Later that night she was getting calls and kept leaving the room. I finally confronted her about it and she still denied it until I showed her that I had the phone. A week passed I kicked her out of the house. Over the next couple of months we were seperated and tensions were high as I was mad at her and she didn’t seem to have any regrets she did not even apoligize to me what happened. In May I ended up in the Hospital and had to get surgery, we reconciled shortly after, and I got us a new home in the same neighborhood as her mother. Then in August I found out she was still talking to the same guy from last year. I asked her about it and she said that they were just talking that I was blowing it out of proportion. Well soon after that she started sleeping on the couch instead of our bed. Then the week before Thanksgiving she said that she has something to tell me and she said that she was pregnant. At first I was happy, because we had talked before about having another child, also we had sex multiple times during that time so I didn’t think anything of it. Then thats when she told me that It wasn’t mine I was so mad at her that I didn’t say one word I just left the house for a couple of hours when I returned she was already asleep. The next couple of day I didn’t speak to her. About a week later I told her that if it was a mistake I could forgive her and live like everything was normal. So we were getting along then she said she had to talk to that guy. When she came back she completely changed again she did not want anything to do with me and that she wanted a divorce and would be gone by the beginning of next year. She doesn’t do anything around the house anymore I have to clean and cook She works late nights but still on the days she is off she sleeps most of the day or is out. My dilema at this point is I still love her and want to work things out but she doesn’t so I am considering going through the divorce but I dont want her to be here since I was willing to take care of her and this baby she has turned her back on me After what she did to me. So I am wanting to kick her out of our house but with Christmas being so close I don’t want to miss out on my girls Christmas. Someone please give me some advice..

  18. Rowland

    So I’m on the opposite side of all this. I met someone and fell completely in love. I have two children with my previous marriage, but have been divorced for quite sometime now. Anyway, this woman I fell in love with is married. Our feelings were mutual and after 2-3 months just spending time together we starting sleeping together. No disrespect to her husband, but I’m in love with her. So she is 13 weeks pregnant and has left her husband just a couple weeks ago. He only knows that she isn’t “happy” with the marriage. He still has no idea she’s pregnant. So for 6 months we’ve seen each other with a flame so strong it has to be love. She has told me numerous times that she is “so in love” with me. Just the past couple days, she has been non-responsive to texts and calls, or at least very short responses. Finally, when I called her out on being distant, her response was, ” I’m sorry for everything, but I’m not ready for a full-blown relationship just yet.” She stated that she needed to spend some time with her 5 year old daughter and just needed space. She also said that she felt overwhelmed with everything going on felt as if she were having panic attacks from it all. Meaning the pregnancy, divorce and I’m guessing me. She did get with the man she’s leaving at 15 years old and is now 24. She has never been with anyone else and I feel it’s just hard for her to cope with… Not really sure. But now she’s being distant with me and man this sucks. I know it wasn’t right for me to fall for a married woman, but I did. Why the sudden change with her toward me? It went from her telling me she loved me, to “I just need space,” With NO I love you. I’ve done nothing wrong so I’m confused. This is quite depressing, but I guess I’m getting a taste of my own medicine. Question is, why the sudden change? So lost…

    1. Dastardlee

      I am also the man on the otherside at the risk of losing my life, but I LOVE HER! So, f**k it.. Your piece was very well put. I empathize w/ your situation.

  19. StavoV

    Leave your wife, period. Make it clean and if you stay around, she will end up loathing you, for whatever reasons people have. Work on liking yourself, literally. When you know yourself, can function in any situation, almost, then life becomes so….so much easier and everything seems to fall into place. Love, well that is just a 4 lettered word, no more, no less. Committment to one another, that is a whole new ball game. Accepting everyones shortfalls, no matter how irratating, sure makes for a smooth run. Betrayal, whether a male or female, only degrades you as a person and in the end, well the means will justify the end result. There is no 100% guarantee about anything…..but if you learn to like yourself and can tolerate others… a warm, beautiful looking young woman on a warm spring day. If you catch my drift. Good luck dude.

  20. John

    My partner and I have been together 19 years. I have never loved or wanted anyone more than her. We have an amazing and beautiful daughter who is 6 and both love her dearly. December 2012 was supposed to be when we were to marry. I cancelled. 🙁 We had many problems that were not evident to me at first. Things were more grim than i could ever imagined. Lack of talking was are major flaw.
    We lost each other. Me being a man carried with normal life as much as i could not knowing what was about to hit from round the corner. I was stretching out the inevitable. Hoping things would get better but that was as far from the facts as it could be. We were sleeping in different rooms and i had turned to porn for some useless sexual release. Little did I know that my partner was on the verge of a critical break down. A few months before this she had gone running and fell. Like a knight in armour a man helped her up comforted her and they got coffee. That was the start of major pain. They started seeing each other on many occasions without a whisp of knowledge from myself.
    So, as mentioned life carried on. We were basically living separate lives and then one day she confronts me and tells me that she had seen the websites I had been going on. Pornhub, Selfies and Curvy girls. There was a big upset and she told me about this man she had met. He was S.A.S and commando soldier. So, even if I wanted to, I couldn’t kick his arse (yes I am British) because it would have been like throwing a stone at the moon. Pointless! She told me how he was there for her and he listened…etc etc. It was the first time we had talked properly for a year. Things were better with us. Then she text me at work and she told me she had ruined all chances of us getting back together. That night she told me she had sex with him at a hotel room.

    The reason why she done it is becaus she tought I was.
    It took a lot of help, talks and crying to get where we are now. I love her. Im not some sook who wants to be walked over. Personally I would not care what any haters think. There is now however, a 3rd problem and that would be that she is expecting twins. They aint mine but I know there are going to be my little girls brothers or sisters. I’ll will support them as much as i can. As for my partner she has been diagnosed with deppression in which she has to take medication for. My Mum has given up on us her Mum has to. I will never give up on her. She is the closes thing I have to heaven and I am not going to lose her again without a fight. Who knows what the future is. But I know one thing we decidebhow it goes.

    1. shack

      you clearly have a cuckhold fetish, you should seek mental help and disassociate from such a person, but hey i dont know you, you probably enjoy humilation and pychological abuse. just know she is liable to leave you at anytime for the twins father or he can enter their lives at anytime

    2. mflores

      This may be months late. I think this situation suxs and in the end many lives are ruined for the sake of SELFISH partner you have. At this point I would just trow the towel. You will have to be willing to REALLY forget and forgieve and love and lust dont go hand in hand. You cannot forgieve if she wants to leave you for him. Now they are STUCK for life. She may be your angel, but she JUST destroyed BOTH of your daughters and her life forever all for sex? Bull, this is a full blown relationship she was hiding. Woman dont get pregnant easy. I read many times a man would stay but its not worth it. She will always come back to him and I would bet the other man wants her. Just leave her and be a good parent. You may spent so much energy trying to win her, but that would mean accepting another mans children and supporting them. Then how would they be raised? Can you imagine seeing THAT dude around YOUR OWN daughter? THE HELL WITH HIM, HER AND THOSE INNOCENT TWINS. She could have used protection but chose not to. I would bet with all due respect to your doughter, this was going on for the longest and when it was finally comingto terms boom she got pregnant. Dont THRUST THESE type of woman. You get the best in the end. Your doughter will know the truth and its double the work now raising her so she WONT FALLOW her mothers footsteps. Just CRY it out. Let her and him be. Start your life again. You DID NOT CHEAT and HAVE A clean soul. Most likely they may not even work any way and if they do who cares? I KNOW HOW IT HURTS. But this is now your life and your daughters. when you meet a new person you will feel better. I also suggets counsiling. I was with a woman for 4 years and fell so hard. Right before we made plans for marriage, she left and I found out she was pregnant for a married man. I almost ended up raising someone else kid. I did counseling and thought still sad of years wasted, I can tell you. I sleep well at night. I walked away clean. I cried months like you and still feel the pain but you KNOW what? This is my life. I did not ruined nor will I ever ruined a family. This man had no concern for the child you guys have. WHAT PERSON DOES THIS? THE hell with both of them..
      There are levels of how far a woman can take affairs/relationships. That is DYNAMITE, they wont care of the children, or people who love them. Thrust me, do split custody and move on. CHILDREN end up making the same mistake parents do so take care of your daughter.

  21. Please Help

    I am trying to find someone that has went through this and is STILL together and HAPPY. I am the women in this case and we have 4 children and the 5th one (She is 15 months) was by another man. I love my hubby and I want my marriage to work. We have been together almost 14 years.

    1. mflores

      how do you want things to work if YOU ARE HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX? 4 CHILDREN? Why would you disrespect them all? its unfair of your hubby to take that on..and im sure this affair has not ended. i say you leave since thats what your body is saying and take all the kids with you. you go work and support them along with the other disrespectful person. when hybby is done with therapy and finalized the custody he can have a loving respectful gf. Do not come knocking after that. you just destroyed many lives…..

  22. drc

    So me and my ex wife have been seperated for a year… but only officially divorced for three months now… I find out she is pregnant with another mans child.. but he left her to get back with his ex… she told him he can’t have nothing to do with the child…. and as for me I’m still deeply in love with her and have been sense we separated….. I think she still loves me…. am I right to step in and get back with her and raise this child as my own.. if she agrees?

      1. David

        I have similar story. My wife had a secret boyfriend prior to our marriage. We were forced into marriage because she has gotten pregnant that she claimed to be mine. Only after 22 years that her secrets got revealed when she exchange long messages and possibly calls or cell texting with a mystery man. She left the computer and Facebook opened before she got to work. She’s been updating her ex with her and their son pictures. Plus sweet exchanges of affection. The reason why they didn’t get married instead was not clear. The man is now in different country. The whole weight of the world crumbled on me knowing now that our firstborn is not mine - I was cheated and was made to cover up a family shame. A DNA test confirmed that. What is our option now? It takes gigantic guts and will plus strong spiritual dedication to keep the family intact. But even with that, life will never be the same again. Everytime I look at my son. I also see the face of his father, a copycat. How would you live with this everyday? I have no interest of looking for a new partner either. My life has been “expended” at that point and will have to accept this as my destiny. Faith and prayer to God keep me going everyday. I forgive and I will be forgiven.

  23. Jacob

    I am 24 with a wife that is 30 she recently had an affair with her boss, calendar shows she could have been ovulating the week of the affair. She did have sex with me twice that week, and he only once…She is now pregnant with fraternal twins, I asked her to break all contact with him quit her job and move to a different city with me. She did, I forgave her and our relationship is getting better everyday! I won’t know who the father is until they are born, and honestly I don’t care I will take care of them if they are my blood or not. It’s tough to get through, but if the two of you are willing todo so it can be done.

    1. Lesli

      Hi even I had an affair so it is ok. I am 25 I had an affair with a 39 years old woman for an year. She was divorced and we were attracted to each other passionately. We use to have sex many times in a month and twice she was pregnent with my child. She insisted me to marry her. I was ready to marry her and make her my wife but the problem is her daughter is my friend who is of my similar age. My girlfriend that is her mother(39 years old) told her daughter about our relationship and said she wants to marry me and is she ok with our merriage. My friend is ok of my marriage with her mother but I later refused. And we decided to not get in marriage relationship but she gave birth to my child in her third time prrgnency from me. My friend is also ok with our desicion now we stay together more like a husband and wife relationship. Now my friend knows her mother is not less than a wife to me.

  24. TheDoc

    I am a victim of this situation. My wife age 38 of 4yrs had an affair with a coworker, which resulted in a pregnancy from that lover. I have not had sex with her for 2 months before this pregnancy. I move out. Weeks later she has miscarriage. The lover leaves her and now she wants me back. I told her no, divorce is going forth. Thank God i didn’t have any kids with her. I forgave her but i moved on.

  25. george

    My wife and I are soulmates. We are now past the age of having children but I view the emphasis of leaving due to pregnancy as ridiculous. You sound as though you can get past a woman cheating but if she brings a life into the world you can’t ? LOL

  26. Tavis

    My wife and I have been married for 10 yrs. At the 8 yr mark we separated due to a non-sexual relationship she had and I forced her to move 600 miles away with our 3 wonderful children to show what she had in me. We have since been separated for 2 yrs and 5 months. I had a relationship outside of the marriage somewhat serious who had a kid. My wife had a relationship with trailer park trash which ended in October the week before we went to court to have the child support set. She says she realized what I am after the child support was set. Since we have had a great reconciliation; however, I just returned to Korea serving in the Air Force from thanksgiving leave. We did have unprotected sex while I was there. We also talked about having another child. I just found out yesterday that she is pregnant and is 7-8 weeks pregnant which means she got pregnant the week before we went to court. The guy is a piece of shit and useless to his other kid. I on the other hand am a great father and husband. We were working on our marriage prior to this news. I know it is his as I was not in the US during the time period of conception. I am a great nice guy and I’m scared if she cheated she will once again; however, if I know I will be the sole father period forever then I am seriously considering it. I often think that she thought of just getting her rocks off and not the 3 children and I. I Luv her with all my heart and want our family. My question is: will I be able to live with the fact that when the child is born it isn’t mine and be able to be happy? My whole world is shattered and I don’t know what to do. On the other hand inviting this POS into this situation if I decide to walk to be a parent to my 3 children will be tough as well. Please any guidance or advice from guys that have gone down this road will help…

    1. Donny

      If you want to be with your wife then give up that child for adoption……. It will be best for all of you and specially that child

  27. Tavis

    I forgot… I don’t know how… But she says she doesn’t believe in abortion even in this situation and I even said adoption. SO it is basically accept it or walk away

  28. James

    For the Author who asked what my thoughts are as a husband of 14 years. The problem with this particular post in relative to how I would fair will immediately fall on deaf ears to any other particular scenerios thquestion can be used for. Using the word “affair” only means by definition sex outside a contracted monogus agreement bound by religious beliefs or any of the thousand reasons this contract is to believed protected and promised. So I hope to convey what I already understood and explained same way to her as I am you. My wife and I do not have kids. It’s sure not from lack of trying while whole time destroying everything to avoid the worst emotion possible “regret”. You name it the quest to find another way to beat infirtility as geneticly incompatibility with each other as a simple fact it just was could not be allowed as reality by either one or both as basic universe fundamentals. For then we didn’t belong together in the first place. It’s just the life reason life it exists anyway. checks and balances. And by all means should be destroyed of all binding agreements. We chose to keep and rewrite bind under a new one.

  29. James

    Are you with me still with me? I purposed a number of different ways of introducing another man and his “thingie” in my wife’s “thingie” with least amount of pitfalls for us to possibly face including unknown. You all know her reaction and all the things she said I can’t say on hear about being ok with some guy and my wife. Much much cruder of course. I just walked away and said nothing. You know what that action did. Yup not 10 minutes tops went buy to hear in a calmer inquisitive tone. ” So are you saying I cheat on you?….well or have an AFFAIR with someone and you would be okay with knowing I was cheating on you”. I still said nothing and she went up stairs. I followed 5 minutes later to now hearing ” not that I could, want, or willing to try with another man. If WE do this it has to be for you alone and not for me. ” . The other man was for US.

  30. James

    So yes, technically I would by all dictionary definition of affair/cheating would make her guilty of it. And I would be okay with it. And trust me it’s far more complicated to move forward and would require massive amounts of communication abilities hurt in past years. Plus reprogramming of how sex can be nothing more than basic designs and tools to reproduce and are not what love, intimacy, etc. are made of. Its created and felt from two souls willing to stand together as one. Will we pursue? I don’t know stay tuned. But I do know my wife better understands and hope my story shed understanding for you. The wrong use or context of a word changes everything. I used “thingie”‘on purpose. Think about, a whole new meaning and set of destructive forces chip away on the foundation that is more fragile than they you thought.

  31. Andy

    My wife of 3 and 1/2 years ended up pregnant while at a wedding reception. She can’t hold her wine and a black couple took advantage of her when she went to the bathroom.
    The only reason I know this a friend of mine saw the black gal and her friend have sex with my wife. They helped her back to the table and acted like nothing happened .
    When she found out she was pregnant tears and emotions took over, she had a baby girl!
    She asked me if I wanted to leave her she would understand, I said no that wasn’t going to happen. She had no place to go nor money. I just told her to relax I would take care of her and the baby. I will not leave her because she’s pregnant again with my baby a little boy. Our family will be different but I love them. Did she cheat yes she did technically and I’ve forgiven her,

    1. Charles

      My hat is off to you for sticking by her no matter what. as for if it was a Black guy or White guy who got her pregnant does it matter it wouldn’t with me. To think she also got pregnant b y having sex this once kind of makes it look like it was meant to be.

    2. ray

      I have to say my hat is off to you, we have 4 children only one is by me, (1st by a friend of our, last 2 by other men) I would love for her to have a black child I have been trying to talk her into that for over 5 years, she loves sex with black men just afraid it will cause problems with family and friends. I would not care and find new friends and if family has a problem they are not real family in my eyes. Anyway good luck and again it think that is great

  32. Charles

    I often see girls getting with a guy having sex and getting pregnant and the guy leaves them. I feel sorry for them. As for if it was my wife that got pregnant by another guy even during our marriage I would be okay with it. I look at it as because you are married this doesn’t mean you own her or control her she is still a free person. It takes more love to stay with someone that got pregnant than it does to just walk away. We have 4 kids and its very likely 2 of them might not be mine. Do I love them any less heck no. I also look at it as if another male got my wife pregnant it would make the child different than if it was my child. Is what they say right Variety is the spice of life.

    1. Donny

      Either you are a saint or a douche…….. Sure your wife’s body is not your property but your wife isn’t also a slut……. So rethink about you and your wife

  33. ray

    My wife and I have 2 daughters both by me, I have been trying to talk her into getting pregnant by someone else for the past year. We have an open marriage and she has sex with other men I think it would be nice if she got pregnant by one of them. We talk about it all the time one of her biggest problems is that most of the men that we see are black and she is worried that it might cause problems with our daughters, I do not see it that way. She is thinking about getting off birth control soon, only time will tell.

    1. emmit

      you are so cool and a man of confidence, so admire men like you, wife and i have had another mans baby and now my kids, we plan soon to have our own.

  34. Ron

    My wife and I married 8 years ago. We have a blended family, she adopted my children, and I love hers as my own. Together we had a baby who is now 7. Regarding the topic at hand here, she went outside the marriage, she became pregnant, and I offered to raise it. The problem is that the guy wants her to leave me, though she says she wand to work it out with me her actions are not indicative of this, like this weekend for instance, I am home with all the kids, she is 33 weeks pregnant and off in another state with him for the weekend just to “get away” I am having a really hard time with this, it was a very public affair, everyone knows the child is not mine. Yet I am trying to hold everything together, our house, our kids, my career, and I do t know that she can ever stop actually having a “thing” with this guy. When is enough enough? When is it okay to walk away? I would really like to find an article or something or someone to talk to who had been through this and glean give me some guidance to make it work, advice, can sympathize with what I’m feeling…I just don’t know what to do, I love her, but I don’t think she can ever separate herself from the guy.

    1. Justice

      @Ron, it sounds to me like enough is already enough. Your wife goes outside your marriage and gets herself knocked up. You’re forgiving enough to offer to raise the child. And for that you get what? She’s off with the guy while you’re home fighting to hold everything together. Dude, this can’t work. There’s nothing to figure out. But you know what they say, nobody can tell you what’s right for you. An article can’t provide you with the courage your need. A friend, a counselor-nobody can “guide” you in making the right decision. You’re in the situation. Face yourself. Imagine this is one of your sons if you have sons. Or even if you don’t. Imagine some other guy comes to you and asks you what you think he should do in the same situation. Be honest with yourself. Stop deluding yourself and do the hard but right thing. Love yourself more.

  35. Thomas

    Wow, I sware 3 days ago I thought us guys were the real dogs! And I’m so glad I found this 1 topic from what 2011? And I don’t really wanna type all of this so it’s probably gonna be one very long sentence!

    Ok, so I’ll tidy up the filler shit! Wife and myself been together for almost 11 years.. married for 9 we have had our problems but have always worked through them together, never been to any marriage counseling.. k well I guess looking back I feel kinna stupid cause their were signs but she was good at convincing me and I can’t remeber last week so whatever! Stuff like deleting stuff off her phone really quick, flipping out if I happen to use her phone, I dunno uggghh I dunno if I can keep it together an type this honestly! But their were signs an I missed them
    We separated twice 1st time just for a few months 2nd time 10 months. And after that everything was good! Well I happen to know the other guy involved I’m this situation… I’ve drank with him, taken his little boy swimming, listened to him b!tch for hours about nothing. He was ok in my book!
    Well then things started to get a little obvious… so I purposely checked her phone an found constant all day texting, and the part that set me off wasn’t that it was the fact that she denied it!!! So I started getting in her business. And I thought it stopped cause their was nothing… but like nothing nothing. So i let it be. And then I started finding prescription drugs that she really shouldn’t have cause she had a serious problem at one time… and rehab didn’t help haha. Well I found aderall in her purse. I took them out an asked her. LIE, next week she’s all hopped up again so I turn the water off to her toilet an drain the water, so she couldn’t flush, failed that piss test and then later on 2 or 50 more whatever.
    So now it’s the lies that have me worried and what else could their be?
    Well we went on a cruise for our anniversary, I didn’t notice she wasn’t drinking for whatever reason? Well when we got back she had an appt that day (I don’t know anything yet) and she gets home and in tears cause she had a miscarriage, she was gonna tell me that day. Now we have to mourn this tadpole or whatever, and it did suck cause we been trying for 4 or 5 years off an on. So we go though 4 months of feeling like crap about that. Things got a little better, we fought here an their like EVERYONE. And one day she comes to me with a baby book an says “you better start reading this!!” Wow we did it again! So now we go through everything together I make it a point to be wherever she needs me! First ultrasound, heartbeat, then we find out we are having a little girl!
    So she comes with me and plans this stupid reveal! Pink blue who cares! My family is their hers is their yay for us!
    Skip forward to 2 days ago, cause I can’t handle this shit, I’m reading in this stupid book when she gets home, I’m talking about cutting g the cord, how exciting! And then I hear it…. “What would you say if I had some really bad news to tell you?
    Ok? Is it drugs? No, ok wtf did someone die? Oh no, then it hit me and I just pointed to his apt…….. said nothing. WTF DID I JUST HEAR? So it still not sank in… I talk calmly… she told me she wasn’t sure and all this an that.. but theirs a really good chance it’s mine! Ok? That was bad, but now it goes to shit! I see her F buddy outside drinking so I bring down 2 bottles of crown an start pouring…. he’s saying sorry an it just happened all BS! Until I got him REALLY drunk an it all fell out 2 years, I would leave for 2 weeks to go offshore.. she would go their or wherever.. I get home she comes back. With the same oh I’m still sad about my miscarriage! I find out she put a plan in place to delete calls and messages when they left work just incase! I find out the miscarriage was 100% not mine, and their are a million things in between that are just as messed up! So next day of course I just loose it! And she starts bringing up everything that I ever did wrong in 10 years like it’s gonna touch her betrayal!
    We were separated, but she moved back home to be with me meaning no more seperation! Not ok hurry up an get one more In!!! Soo yea thus is still painfully freah, can’t eat, barley sleeping, don’t wanna talk to ANYONE! All the while every fuc#ing day I have to see the boy toy smoking an laughing with his boy, and his mom that lives with him,and his baby momma that also lives their… I’m truly amazed that I am not in cuffs at this very moment!

    Anyway yea… I mean I’m just lost at this point!!! I don’t know if I can even have kids at this point, do I continue the process just so I can experience this amazing thing? Or do I just cut the head off an run? She is my everything, and 5 days ago I would of beat the shit out of anyone that would of said she could do this to me…. so yea, I dunno

    On 1 side, she is my wife… till death do us part! Not if something really really bad happens just get out an try again. I’m hurt and my entire family,her entire family. … I mean she blinded us all but even still she may need help but I love her, I know she feels like total crap right now and I just wanna make her feel better.
    Or is this that bad,and that evil that she dosent deserve it? Cause to allow someone to grieve a miscarriage that wasn’t yours and to allow him to go through 6 months of some of the most amazing things that can happen in a marriage just way past EVIL? I’m so lost guys..I’ve thought of it all too! Suicide, double murder suicide lol… but on day 5 or 6 whatever it is I’m glad I was bigger than that…yes she hurt me on a level which she can ever understand…. never! But myself unlike her I have a soul, and after all of that still made sure she was ok!

    Now someone said it earlier, they tried for x amount of time the left an all that…. I thought about staying… but 1, I believe she wanted me to just divorce her and 2, even at the end of 10 years together she still cannot tell the truth!

    So no I will never be able to trust her, or any other female… I lost my left leg in a motorcycle accident a year before I met my wife. This hurts more! Wayyyyyyy more!

    Anyway, I’ve been so lost and been wanting to find someone that at least knew the same pain. Sucks that this horrible situation is that. Common

    Later guys!

    Oh, 1 more thing… she was here yesterday better believe I’m gonna hit it as many times as I want till she gets re married hahahahaha… closure, nah I just needed to get off babe! Thanks!!!

  36. Thomas

    Just an update on our situation… yes I was furious for a week or so but after the dust settled we talked many times about this and I told her that I’m still here… I will raise our daughter and I never want a test done. I know she’s mine and that’s that! We have alot to talk about still but we will work through it and be stronger in the end

    1. thetruthhurts

      lol your a true p**sy like that rest of these guys on here.. my wife cheats Im gone, i cant even fantom her having another baby by another guy and I’m still on the pictur GROW SOME BALLS AND LEAVE!!!

      1. Tom

        You my friend are what’s wrong with America today, You don’t know the whole situation and you post shit on here like you know something. If you cut an run every time u have an issue you will be the one dieing by yourself. Yes thus is a major issue but like I said theirs more to life than what I had time to post….. I’ve f**ked up in the past just as she has. Anyway I don’t have time to continue to read this shit…

        So Thanks for your input but go fu*k yourself!

      2. T

        Lexi, your situation does not go with the title to this post…. we don’t care that you got screwed over. This is about stupid whore that stray while the man is at work and u slurs get pregnant..

        Get over yourself!

  37. Lexi

    Me and my husband has been married for two years. The first year we had our first daughter together. The second year we had our second daughter. While I was five months pregnant with my second daughter. I found out my husband had knocked up another woman around the same time. I was so hurt; I told him to leave. Meanwhile I found out my daughter had a lung mass that could potentially kill her. I stressed my whole pregnancy with the affair and my daughters condition. Now I have a beautiful baby girl. And so does she. Now hes messing with other woman

  38. Eric

    I stepped out once and hated it now my wife did and got pregnant the man doesn’t want anything course he is afraid of me but after 13 years of marriage I will stand by my wife and my kid will be mine and have my name not the baby’s fault we all make mistakes I can’t have kids so at first I was irate but bible says stand by your wife and I will it’s not a weak character it takes a strong man to say ya it’s mine no matter what just have to build trust back I am being paid back for my sins

    1. ray

      Here is my story, kind of long but I will try to cut it down. I married my wife (Deb) right after we got married she got pregnant, from the day she got pregnant I felt something was wrong but did not say anything to her but I talked to my brother about it a few times, anyway we had our first child a baby girl. Our daughter really did not look like either of us really but like I said I felt something was wrong anyway. About 6 months later we wanted to get her pregnant again so she got off birth control and we started it did not take long and we had another daughter. This one looked just like her but had my hair color and eyes. Over the next year or so we talked about my feeling about our first child after a while she told me she was seeing a friend of mine (Tony) after that I could see him in our daughter and she told me she was sure the child was his and not mine. I told her that I loved her and our daughter so I was ok with it if she was.
      After a few months I started asking her if she was still seeing him or anyone else she told me no and was worried that I was getting mad about it, I told her many time that I was more that ok with her having his child not to worry about it.
      Not long after that we were having a party at the house, we invited all our friends and family as my brother lived out of state I really did not talk to him that much but at the party I told him that I was right about the child not being mine and told him who the father was he could not believe who it was a good friend so he ask me if I had told him, I said no Bob told me that I should tell him let him know just incase there was ever any problems he would be aware. So Tony was at the party so Bob and I got him outside and told him, he said that Deb said she would never tell me that the child was not mine or who the father was, he was worried that I would be mad and asked me to forgive him. I told him that I was not mad that I really loved my wife and daughters so I was fine with it I just wanted to make sure that he would not try to take my daughter from me. The 3 of us sat and talked for a long time, I ask him how it felt being the father of my daughter he said it felt good and even better now that I knew and was not mad, I also ask if they had been together after that he said no but sure wanted to from time to time but understood that she was married and should not do that again, plus he had also gotten married so it would not be that easy.
      I told him that I had to confess that from the beginning I knew that Deb had many lovers before me I that it was hot to think about and I liked knowing she got some after we got married too, my brother added that he thought Tony was so lucky and had wondered what Deb looking like naked and could just imagine what she would be like in bed Tony and I both told him that she was hot and wonderful in bed.
      After the party was over when we got in bed Deb asked what the 3 of us talked about for so long I told her that I let Tony know that he was the father and that I was ok with it and we were all cool. She was glad to hear that and asked what she could do to make it up to me, she was shocked when I told her that knowing she had sex with someone else after we got married was hot and I would really love to see her doing someone else. Her first response was she could not do Tony in front of me, I told her there were lots of guys out there, all she would say is if it ever works out maybe.
      Over the next few months every time we had sex I told her how much I wanted to see her with someone else. so she agreed and told me to find someone just not someone we knew. The next day I started looking and found a guy a little older than us but nice looking guy showed him photo’s of Deb he said he would love too. When I got home told Deb it was set up for Friday night and I could not wait.
      We meet at a sports bar close to us had a few drinks he got a room and that night was great, Deb could not believe how excited I got watching her having sex with another man. After he got off twice he left we stayed in the room and F**ked all night, at one point I ask her after he cam in you twice could you be pregnant again she told me she was on birth control so most likely not. I ask if she would continue to have sex with other men and she said she would if I set it up for her, which I did about once every other week. Over the next few months I always ask if she could have gotten pregnant, then one night I told her that it was unfair for her to have gotten pregnant and me not being there to watch it and that I wanted her to get off birth control and have sex with lots of other men till she got pregnant, her only question was would I be one of those men, My Answer was NO. She told me she would let me know.
      Friday night when we were getting ready to go out, she ask me if I was sure about her getting pregnant I told her YES without question I wanted it. That night we were going to a guys house that had already done her a few times as we pulled up to his house she ask me again about getting pregnant again I told her yes then she added that she wanted to be sure because she stopped her birth control pills Wednesday, I got hard right then she added that we should tell him not everyone wants to get a woman pregnant. When we got inside they started making out which looked great she pulled away from him and told him that I was trying to talk her into getting pregnant by someone else and she stopped her pills so if he was not up to it we could leave. He looked at me and said “this might be your lucky day I have not cum all week so I have a lot and it is strong” once they started they did not stop he cam in her hard and deep but never went limp and keep right on pumping her then he cam again. We sat around and chatted for a while then he did her again before we headed home.
      Over the next 3 months or so she had over 20 different men most of them more than once, me how ever only got blow jobs and jack-off a lot. She did get pregnant now we have a son, that we both love.
      Now we have told both my brother and Tony about her getting pregnant and our last child, both of them have asked to be the next one to get her pregnant or at least take turns with each other so we will not know. We know it will be one of them just not sure which one it will be or if they get to rotate weekends till she is pregnant.
      I can not understand why so many people get so mad over your wife having sex and getting pregnant by someone else. I really think it is really hot and would not have traded our marriage for anything or any of our children

  39. Don

    I married my wife shortly after we started seeing each other and then found out she was pregnant. I thought the baby was mine until she arrived then obviously she was not mine.
    My wife admitted she continued seeing her ex after we married and supposedly the protection failed. Later she admitted they never used any. After a few years she again became pregnant and although I was excited I was suspicious. I had myself tested and found out there was no way I could possibly father children.
    I confronted her and she admitted the affair with her ex never stopped. I also know that I am madly in love with MY children and without him I would never be a father.
    Other than this she is a wonderful wife. I have no intention of leaving her. He is an important part of her life and I guess mine. We actually have had dinner with him and even though I sometimes get jealous of him I know to try and stop her from seeing him would leave a void in her life.
    She loves him, she loves me and our children. She is sensitive about my feelings on the subject but sometimes it hurts when I know they are together.
    He is not the type of guy that thinks he is a “stud” for sleeping with another man’s wife and he is truly in love with her. However, he has started seeing another woman seriously and is talking about marriage. I know this hurts my wife and I have no idea how it will effect her and if they will stop after his marriage. I have no idea how the woman feels about this.
    By the way, I was a virgin when I married her and she is the only woman I have ever been with or want to be with.

    1. thetruthhurts

      man I cant take this, you all sound like a bunch of pussies man! she cheats, keeps cheating and you stay with her?? where is your self esteem. AND YOU WAS A VIRGIN when you married her?? please get her tittie out of your mouth and leave her for God sake!

      1. Dan G

        Why am I wrong to want to share my hot beautiful wife with anothet man? Ideally, the other man would be bisexual so I could join in. We don’t ever want to prevent my wife from getting pregnant so if that happens and its his not mine so be it. I want the other man to be black and my does not care.

        1. ray

          Christopher, I have to say I think you are a jerk, just the way I feel. While my wife and I were engaged she was seeing a friend of our she got pregnant which she did not know about until after we were married, she had OUR daughter a few years later we had another child my son. We are still very happy, and I really don’t care that there is another man that fathered our daughter I still love her and my wife

  40. TheMan

    I am currently dealing with this! I am a military contractor and was deployed last spring and my wife got pregnant by another man. I actually met him a few years ago. He was my sons football coach.

    Well here goes! We got married in 1997 and have an 18 yo daughter and 13 yo son. Our marriage has been rocky for the last two years. On Christmas eve, eve 2013 we were at her dads house and were having some drinks. She went to sleep and I looked on her phone to find, she had been talking to a guy. In the morning on Christmas eve, I confronted her about it and she said they were just “talking” and she had not cheated on me. In the spring this year I was out on a deployment and she cheated on me and I didn’t know about it. When I got home in June, I confronted her because she kept avoiding me “in the bedroom”. I accused her of cheating on me and she said she did. After that we didn’t even sleep in the same bed again. I moved to another room in the house and we talked about working things out. I went on a trip for 6 weeks and when I got home, I noticed that she had gained a few pounds, but I didn’t say anything to her about it. We continued to sleep apart for a couple weeks. On a Saturday morning I went on a ride with a couple buddies and she said she had some things to do with the kids. When I returned home she wasn’t there and the kids were. At that point I knew something bad was happening! I tried to call her for quite a few hours and she texted me back to tell me that she was down the hill at a hotel trying to figure her life out. Two days past and she returned to inform my that there was nothing I could do and she was taking some things and staying at a friends house. After a couple hours of us talking and I was trying to find out what she had been doing. She told me that 6 weeks before while I was gone she found out that she was pregnant! I asked her what she was going to do now. She said she had to go feed the baby! My reply was WTF are you saying? She said when she went to the doctor for a checkup, her lab results were off and they did a pregnancy test and it was positive and she was 32 weeks already. So I didn’t know what to do! I was already on the schedule to come out on this trip. I was home for 3 weeks after that. In that time I moved all my stuff to a storage, my motorcycle, bikes and all my tools and clothes. And the day I left she went back to stay at our house. During the 3 weeks the kids stayed with me, knowing what a “prize” their mom was. So when I get home she is leaving and I am moving my things back into the house and the kids are staying with me.

  41. Dan G

    Make the next baby she pops out yours! Bang her hard and often. If she wants to be with other man demand to watch. I would love to watch my hot wife being banged by another guy.

  42. Andy

    Maybe I’m crazy but I wouldn’t leave my wife if she got knock up by some one else! That is our current situation. Have 3 kids and one is mine the others we don’t know. We do know that two of our kids happened at parties, my wife is a hot lady and likes drinking. We’ve since day moved to another state and my wife is still the hottest lady stopped her drinking and now concentrating on us and the kids. I told her no more kids but instead be safe, I know she loves sex and I can’t keep up with her. I would bet she still has sex with other guys. I won’t ever leave her, to me she loves the kids and me.

  43. bill

    I dated by wife for 11 months before we got married. We knew each other for 6 months before we started dating. Anyways she had an affair 3 months before we got married that lasted until we got married. 8 months after wedding she gives birth to our son (I was unaware of the affair) at which point I realized she had cheated. I didn’t leave her because she is so hot and we are like best friends. I am the father of this man’s child but being asked for the past 8 years if we adopted is tough being that our child is obviously black and we are white. Also when shes out at the store without me and she is with our son she says black men try to talk to her.

    1. ray

      You are a good man, I know 2 of our 3 children are from other men but all of our children are white. We are thinking about having one more child and I would love for her to have a black child but we are still talking about that.

  44. Dan

    I believe that my desire for my wife to get pregnant by a black man has a lot to do with humiliation. I want my wife to publicly humiliate me. Raising a bi-racial child would require me to constantly explain how that child came into this world. Each time I explain how my wife cheated on me, got pregnant, and that I choose to stay with her would be humiliating. I believe that thru humiliation my wife would become the dominant person in our relationship. Exactly where I want her to be. Ideally, she would continue sleeping with black men and possibly get pregnant again. Maybe even let me watch her cheat. Hopefully, I would be allowed to clean her after being with other men. Tasting another man on my wife and in my wife would be such a turn on.

    1. ray

      I understand how you feel, we have 2 children from other men,(both were white) but I am hoping the next will be black. Good luck to you

      1. Don

        Great for you but hard on the kid. Sooner or later other kids will find out mommy screws black guys and daddy is a sissy. Screw them up don’t you think?
        I love watching my wife with other men and because I can’t father children we had to have another man impregnate her but we where sure to get one that would make babies that could pass as my own. If it comes up we can always say it was artificial insemination. The kids and no one else needs to know I was right there watching as he put babies in her. Three to be exact from the same stud.
        I do enjoy watching her with black studs too but while I would enjoy the humiliation of them giving her babies I would not put that on the kids or her.

        1. Dan

          Does your wife like being with black studs? Does she prefer it? I need a woman who has been there to talk to my wife about it. Really want to see my wife with a black man. Would your wife be willing to talk to my wife?

          1. Tracy

            I love sex with black men. Not all are hung but they view sex differently and the ones I really like make it clear they just want to f*ck. My husband gets off watching, don’t understand that as if he ever was with another woman I would kick him out.
            As for your wife, if she is interested we can talk. But, my first black guy was after I was married and now really the only sex I enjoy is with black guys. My husband, well it is OK I guess. Kind of a let down or a warm up?

  45. Taylore

    Wow. This is just a bunch of angry old men being angry at women for doing the same things that men do for less of a reason. And I’m sorry, but there is nothing wrong with these gentlemen that want to maintain a relationship with these women even after they get pregnant by other men. Unfortunately, thise of you with a penis will never have to deal with that kind of thing. Good for you, right? Because you can f*ck whoever you want and get them pregnant, and then not worry about it because it isn’t growing inside of you.

    Mkay, if your lady cheats on you, maybe she isn’t JUST a bad person. Sure, it happens. Some women just cheat and really don’t care. Same with men. My situation was way different. I was married at 17 to be emancipated. He abused me and locked me away from the world for 7 years. I met a man on accident, i wasn’t out looking. He treated me great and helped me get stable enough to leave my husband. So, i left, got with the new guy, 6 months later, I’m pregnant. Husband wants to work things out even though he knows about my new guy. He doesn’t know about my pregnancy. BUT he is not a stupid man for wanting me back. I was wonderful to him, he just pushed too far. I decided to take my life in a new direction and he finally realized what he was messing up.

    Don’t think you can cheat or treat your lady like dirt and have her all over you when you get home at night. Regardless of genitals, we are all human. We all feel. We all react. If your girl made a mistake and you still love her, give her that second chance. Don’t let her walk on you but don’t hate her. If you’re a bad husband and you treat her badly, she’ll find someone new and that’s your fault. And you cheating, as a man, is no better than her cheating. This misogyny is absolutely nauseating.

    It comes down to everyones true intentions and emotions at the end of the day. And it will never be that baby’s fault. Work it out if you can, but take responsibility where it’s due.

    1. Ted James

      You sound like one of these sluts that was cheating why in the hell would I forgive my wife for getting pregnant by another man??! And don’t give me that excuse that the husband is bad, women like you male me sick

    2. Don

      In our case because I can not father children we decided to find another man to fulfill that for us. We where careful about who we chose so the baby would pass as my own. No one but the three of us knows who the true father is of our three children.
      I was there for the insemination, the pregnancy and the childbirth and now am raising them.
      But this was all planned out. At first it was going to be a donor only thing but we decided a more natural way to go. We where lucky as he is a very close relative of mine.

      1. Kenneth

        so you let a very close relative have sex with your wife? And you consider yourself lucky? In my opinion if she would have sex with one person outside your marriage she would have sex with as many as she wishes!!

      2. Skip skip and Donna

        Do you plan on a second or third. We went this same route but by our best friend.. Two years later we did it again by yet another friend.

  46. bob243

    yes, I would stay with her , I love my wife to be pregnant by other men, mostly my best friend, we have 2 daughters both from him and he and i share her.

  47. A J Smythe

    The same thing happened to me 25 years ago. I had a vasectomy 14 years prior to her getting pregnant at 40 years of age .
    She was working in a city some 40 klms from home - she started going to work almost every Saturday because she was very busy she said - interestingly when I or my kids phoned there was no answer - she said that was because she did not answer the as it interrupted her or she had gone to the shops .
    I was transferred away and she did not want to go but did. On the last Saturday she went to her work supposedly . We moved and than 2 months later she went to the Doctor and came home to announce she was pregnant ,
    I asked how could this be and had she had an affair which I suspected . She said no affair ,something must have gone wrong with the vasectomy -despite no interest in sex at home for a couple of years .
    She insisted she did not have an affair but rushed off to have an abortion and then her tubes tied .
    I was tested twice and confirmed sterile - as the Doc said after 14 years you do not become fertile again .
    Interestingly she then started to go away “shopping ‘by herself all day on a Saturday ,leaving at 7 am and returning 5 PM or later .
    It appears she was meeting the lover again who flew in from down the coast for the day and returned home that evening .
    I stayed for the sake of my children who were in Uni and senior High School but that was a very big mistake.My children both did extremely well at Uni and are hugely successful people but the emotional cost to me has been horrendous .
    I have suffered all those years and now I really welcome the thought of my life ending -may it be soon - the whole thing eats at me day and night .

  48. Kenny

    I have read all these posts and I can tell that there is real pain in infidelity. I came to the US for college from Africa, at age 21. By my 3rd and 4th year I already had two daughters by a fine teenage African American girl, who I later married.

    I am not bad looking and I had that strange accent, that seemed to somehow woo women. Before I knew it, women were asking me out, showing me around, teaching me lots of things about American life and culture. That, of course, did not go well with my relationship and after many years, we divorced.

    I am now 51, have a total of 5 kids by 3 different black ladies; two adult daughters by my ex-wife, two 7/8 yo sons by an ex gf, one infant son by a lady friend in another country. That is to show you that if I even look at a black woman in a sexual way, she gets pregnant!

    I am no saint. I am one of those guys who enjoys seducing and sleeping with married women. I learned that art from married women themselves-more so married white women. I have slept with countless married women and learned to enjoy it. Some off those women would take no for an answer, were persistent, discreet, tactful, sensual, seductive, you name it. The wives most trusted by husbands are the worst in cheating.

    I have never made a non-black woman pregnant in my life. It’s not because I did not have a chance, it just has never happened and I always wonder why. It’s as if their eggs repel my sperms. As many non-black women as I have been with, I always feel I should have a few bi-racial kids. I want a bi-racial child and would love to find a woman who can let me knock her up. A married one or one financially able to raise the kid on her own would be ideal (not that I wouldn’t want to help). I can find a non-black woman for sex any day, but I really want to find one to have a baby with me, even with no strings attached. It kills me that the sweet woman I am with is past her child bearing years, but she is lovely.

    I do not believe the guys who have been hurt and posted here had much control over what the wives and girlfriends would do. Women have the freedom (married or not) to do whatever they want with their lives and bodies. They going to do what they going to do-whether we men like it or not, although that does not make it right. We just have to find a way to heal and stay or move on. Its life and life goes on somehow.

    While its beyond me, I think its very unselfish and erotic for some guy to allow his wife to get pregnant by some other guy and allow himself to claim and raise the child as their own. I find the married women who crave children with men (especially black men) other than their husbands simply irresistible. I have never destroyed a marriage, other than my own, if I can make someone’s else’s marriage or life happier or complete by helping them have a child I would. I would be delighted to share my genes with other races, even if it means accomplishing that through an affair.

  49. Douglas Bray

    I have been with my woman 4 and a half years now. We have two beautiful boys together. She’s been suffering from serious depression. Well I don’t know what her thinking was but she went out and had sex with another man. Well you guessed it she’s pregnant. I don’t know if it is mine or his. It really doesn’t matter to me. I am it’s father. She told him about it and he ran away. I was raised by a man that was not blood but I call him my father.

    I love her deeply and can’t imagine life without her and I know she is sick and scared and just trying to push me away because of this. I’m all sorts of confused and sad but I know that just like me as a child this baby didn’t do anything wrong. Why should it suffer with a father that would never be there for it when no matter what I am standing right here.

    I’m not a religious person and I don’t want to hear I’m special or anything else. I just wanted to speak out with you guys and tell you there is only two things you can do. 1. If you honestly love her forgive her. Have her regain your trust and take it one day at a time. 2. Run away. Simple really

  50. Frans

    big YES !! I will stay. Because my wife is mine, so my wife’s baby is mine too, no matter who impregnate her. No deal with DNA, no deal with the law. Because for me, sex is only small part of marriage, and anyone can make make mistake. So I do not want to focus only on the mistakes she has made, but I prefer to focus on her commitment to improve our marriage and our family.

  51. Geralt

    The only way I would forgive her is as it follows. She should ask the biological father to take care FINANCIALLY. If he accepts, good. If not, she should tell him “you take care of the child financially or I’m going to force you to be DNA tested so law compels you to pay child support”. Then she should come to me and tell me the truth “i cheated on you and got pregnant. Although I can’t undo the moral and psychological damage, I’ve forced him to take care financially”. Then I would forgive her, not because of the finacial issue itself, but because that would mean to me a symbolic act in order to show me she is regretful and, above all, a symbolic act in order to restore my dignity. I would forgive she cheated on me and got pregnant and I would take care EMOTIONALLY and AFFECTIVELY of that child as if it was mine.

    1. Brett

      As above, that is taking ownership of a circumstance as an adult.

      From my perspective, I have four children to a younger girlfriend. We’ve been together for a while now, and eventually every relationship gets a bit ‘stale.’ Rather than sit back and wait for her to have an affair behind my back, she’s been told if she feels she needs to have some excitement, to inform me first. Should she have another man’s baby, it would be better to cut ties with him, than have him financially responsible, because he would then want back and forth contact of that child, and that would also tie us to the area for the sake of contact + expenses involved in mid-way meeting points, incidentals etc. Although she said she has no interest, or wouldn’t go there, we are all biological creatures, with natural urges… We reproduce as a natural bodily function, and prevent pregnancies with man-made efforts. Being partnered is no guarantee for monogamy. Mistakes aren’t really ‘mistakes.’ They are part of who we are, but not everybody. It’s personal preference, mental, and physical differences in us all as well.

      Forget religion, and the sanctity of marriage. That’s puts ALL human beings under the same moral idealistic control. Control of what comes naturally is a farce.

      Forget control over individuality. Just because you are with someone, and have bonded with them through sex produced oxytocin, does not give anyone moral rights, ownership, or control over what they should (and shouldn’t) be doing with their body, and recreational time. Every relationship is founded upon oxytocin bonding, that’s all! If you can face that, you won’t be hurt when a partner has fun, or falls pregnant, accidentally or not. Obviously if it became habitual, or they can’t take precautions, and there is doubt as to whether their partner is respected enough, then serious debate as to what either person want may ensue. Obviously, some tact is appropriate too!

      My partner also has to be careful taking contraception, because of thyroid medications needing monitoring when introducing another hormone, as one synthetic hormone upsets the balance of other thyroid hormones in the body. But again, she says she’s not needing anyone else, well at this stage of our relationship anyway.

      I’m lucky to have her, and wouldn’t hold it against her if this scenario occurred, because we already have children, and my partner and family should stick close no matter what, or whom is introduced. Likewise, she gives me free reign over what I do with other women, not that I have prospects, but there is room for flexibility as individuals to live our life as we wish, whilst supporting one another as a team, without the ridiculous strict ties of marriage, or unorganized surprises causing grief, or shock. It would take a LOT for me to abandon my steadfast family unit, and a child that is born unto either one of us is not one of those catalysts for discord. Children are awesome anyway! I feel though despite assurances as such, yes it would still hurt to find out she wants another man on the side, and yes it would hurt if she had another man’s baby, but at least we both know where we stand, and if it did happen, it won’t be dramatic, or unforgivable. We would be able in essence be able to continue enjoying one another’s companionship, and home.

      1. Skip

        I guess I feel different about that. As it was I met my wife who already had two kids and I excepted them as she got no support from the guys who made them. I see no difference if it happened that way or if she got pregnant while married to you. You love her and the children she bares yours or not’ As for my wife she had two then a third mine than a 4th not mine and I love her and all the kids.

        1. ray

          Skip, you are a good man, I have something almost like you, before we were going to get married my wife had never been with a man before. A few months before the wedding I was trying to talk her into going out and picking up a guy to have sex with, she kept saying no but I knew she really wanted to so I would remind her all the time it would be ok with me if she did. I did not find this out for over a year after we got married but I kind of knew. One night she was out with some of her friends and ran into a friend of ours they started talking and dancing, her friends started to leave and she stayed with our friend for a while ended up going home with him and she spent a few more nights with him before we got married too. Well just over 8 months after we got married she had our first child, she said it was early but I knew it was full term, I knew I was not the father but did not know who was and did not care she was our child. All most a year after that she got pregnant again this time I knew it was my child. After that she ended up telling me about her doing our friend before we got married and that the child was his, again I did not care and still love all of them. Now she has had 2 more and from different men, we both love all of our children and I hope she has more.

          1. peter cole

            This is a fantasy of mine to share my wife with other men. Her love is so great that I just can’t keep it to myself. She has had emotional affairs during our marriage and whe she finally told me, i actually encouraged her to continue and not to feel guilty about it. She hasn’t been physical with anyone but me, but that may change someday. I don’t want her to hold back nor conceal it. I just want to see her fulfilled and drive the guy crazy. with her love and beauty lime she does to me. The risk of losing her is also intoxicationg.

    2. Don

      I found out the hard way that if you are married to a person in my state and she gets pregnant YOU are responsible for that child and it does not matter who the father really is.
      I was married for five years and had two children with her. It never even occurred to me that the children where not mine. We decided that two where enough as even though she was much younger than me I was getting too old to want more. She said she was done so I went into the doctor and wanted to freeze some sperm, just in case. After the tests came back he said I had no active sperm and could not possibly ever had them due to a birth defect. I was floored.
      I confronted her and she very bluntly told me she had been in an ongoing affair well before we even met to a married man who was not ever going to leave his wife. That is until now. They had been making plans to set up house and that is when she told me she wanted a divorce. A few weeks later I got the bad news, she wanted child support and my lawyer said to settle as in our state I was responsible.
      Now I am on the hook for child support, and have to share time with them. Of course they are living really well and I am barely making it from pay check to pay check. I even tried suing him with no luck.
      Get married and they literally have you by the balls.

      1. Brett

        Hi Don,

        I read about marriage, and responsibility to children not yours. What is worse, is growing attachment to those children, and having them torn from your life, yet still needing to pay for them. What I don’t understand is, how can they openly admit their scam, and continue to ‘have you by the balls’ after formerly ending the marriage?

        I live in Australia, so obviously laws differ. But the only person reponsible financially is the Paternal Father of a child. If a DNA test proves you are not the Father, you are off the hook, and yoir Partner comitted an act of fraud if it were proven they knew all along. In the welfare system here, a Mother with a Fatherless child does not receive a substantial portion of Tax benefit, though still receives a fair amount in a seperate tax benefit to assist in raising that child without Child Support income. Of coirse, how much a Parent shall receive is income tested, and working parents are able to claim for their Children at the end of the financial year if they are financially eligable. If a single Mother says she does not know who the Father is, they consider the Child’s welfare too, and ‘coherse’ the Mother into spilling the information, so that they may have Child Support begin collection. In many instances, that Father is working, and shouldn’t get off scot free from paying Child Support from he’s wages, rather than load up the tax system with welfare burden that could otherwise be paid by the working Father. At the end of the day, we have a fair system over-all that works for the entire Nation, only wages are low, cost of living high, and Fathers with two or more children on a low wage have zero incentive to go to work. In fact, many of them sit on unemployment benefits so they can survive with only needing to then pay small sums in Child Support. Going to work means being worse off. So that os what sucks abut our system. It’s not as perfect as I make oit, but it works. Just the rest of the Aussies have to pay the tab on this dodging.

        Laws that impose financial responsibility for an individual’s behaviour including in a marrage are plain rediculous. It is simply the States way of shirking financial burden of potential futuretax payers, and under human rights, cannot be enforced. The trick to such attempt to enforce these rulings is to not sign anything, and to not consent to unjust financial hardship being imposed upon yourself. I think these laws you are subjected to there rely greatly upon the marriage ties, which basically bound you both as one legal entity. The trick there is…. DON’T GET MARRIED! Marriage is now bluntly a formal union of two corporate entities. It is the union of two legal birth cirtificates. You, the human being have rights that do not attach you to anything imposed upon you. If you consented already, too late, but do study this system you speak of as ‘having you by the balls,’ because it is only by your actions that you consent, and have to pay.

        On the flip side to such laws is the idea that women should not be the only one’s held responsible for a Child. If a Father cannot be located, the responsibility of the other ‘legal half’ must be shouldered. It has logic in it, but far from being good logic. I think the Australian system is better.

        Sounds like she scammed you though. She was quick to ask for devorce when caught, and they both knew what they were doing all along. The Father of those children is laughing all the way to the bank. Sorry for your plight though.

        I too as posted a couple of paragraphs up am much older than my girlfiend. She knows why I won’t marry her, and de-facto has equal legal weight where we are. We both agree I will reach a point where it’s not a good idea for me to become a Father again, that it shall be open to a natural donor we know. But it would complicate things too. Freezing sperm now would be expensive, and it’s not fair on children to have Dad kick the bucket whilst they are in their teens. She is better off finding a a healthy male her own age that can make an effort, otherwise, if she deciides to not incude him, and doesn’t tell him, then I am also happy to accept the child as mine, and I go on the birth certificate, which isn’t ideal, but whatever, I have nothing to lose being on a pension, and it’s not fraud if you weren’t aware. Others in better financial positions wouldn’t fair so well if the relationship went South, but in Australia now, Courts encourage 50/50% shared care of Children, thus eliminating financial obligations to one another in Child Support. Parents of welfare under thh Australian Tax system receive ongoing payments for the care of a Child, which is viewed upon as registered State Property, as is your motor vehicle when you register it gives them authority to impose infringements against it, or your licence gives them your consent to control your driving behaviour on public roads. So too again is this consent through marriage and laws that govern people under the covernant of a signature of consent. We even register our babies, so that they may partake in this system, and are forced into submission to do so. It’s li,e this everwhere now, and control is becoming too tight on free, and innocent human beings such as YOU.

        There is a flaw in my reasoning though, is if I become too old, and tired to have Children in my care. I would expect to stay healthy, and resonably fit, and if I couldn’t cope, she would not collect from me until my time is up. She says she will care for me when I get old, but at the same time, I would never expect her to give up her individuality, and pirsue what is human, or naturally something she seeks.

        An open-mind, clear concience, and view that nobody is yours. What we grow around us we must accept. In cases like yours Don, where laws impose penalty not of your doing, it is best to kick em out, and move on before they do it again with another kid. Seriously, how could you not know over five years, and multipul Children?

  52. Christopher

    This happened to me, I ran!!! She doesn’t even know where I live. She eventually miscarried and the guy left her, she tried to get me back, nope. Life is to short to be a doormat. Now she’s miserable. She made her choices. I was even more angry at the fact she thought she could get me back. Insulted she tried. If they cheat, they will do it again. Someone who loves you, does not cheat. And I don’t buy that oops it was a mistake. People make mistakes, but when you cheat, you know Damn well what you were doing. And the I couldn’t help myself? Could you imagine they ever had the urge to kill someone. Sorry judge, I couldn’t control my urge. People are full of excuses. Oh yeah, she said it was my fault she did it, oh? Well here, let me help make sure it doesn’t happen again. Bye Felicia!!

  53. Zeke

    The one thing that you all need to consider is what to do when the child finds out. At some point, the child may become interested in their heritage. Do you lie to them? Genetic testing has become the new thing to do. What then? Who do you tell them that their ancestors are? The modern age makes this sort of thing much more difficult to keep a secret.

  54. Woody

    I personally went through something like this. My wife and I, with another couple our age became involved with swinging with each other. We both loved our wives and each of us had one child. My wife wanted another baby and we found out, so did the other couple. Some one joked about getting each other wife pregnant. some how the idea seemed erotic, and after much discussion, we decided to go ahead with it both agreeing we would love the others babies as our own. Both wives were ovulating within a few days of each other. His wife was first to get it, I saved up a weeks worth of sperm so as to have a good supply ready. It was decided we all were going to be present at the conception, so we all were in the bedroom getting each other hot and ready. When we were all ready, we lay side by side on the bed each screwing the others wife, and both of us came together. A few days a later her husband mounted my wife and again we fucked them together. A couple of weeks later both women missed their periods and were pregnant. Both had girls and we were close all during their child hoods. As a matter of fact we are still close today even after all the kids are mature and we still swing together, although the kids are unaware of our swinging and that they are all half lf brothers and sisters.

  55. James

    Hello and a good question. It also is a variable question with different circumstances to influence the answer. I have been married for 18 years.In those 18 years my wife and I had to deal with some pretty traumatic not so common events. Why this is a variable question is because it matters when it happens and how it happens in the timeline of marriage. If my wife would have gotten pregnant in the first couple years by another man. It would have been a joint decision to separate. But fast forward past infertility and other traumatic times around the 12-14 years of marriage and the answer changes. If my wife were to get pregnant now I absolutely would be willing to give it a try to make it work and believe she would also. Because at this point if that were to happen it would have either been planned by us or she had a whoops night instead of a loving ongoing affair. It’s funny how we draw lines in the sand. There is no difference in a man whom marries a women who already has kids and raises as his own. Versus a man whoms wife is impregnated by another and raises as his own. Both scenarios the women had sex with another man and got pregnant. The only difference is the choice is based on an emotion response of supposed betrayal. So can a husband accept a wife whom got pregnant by another man. Of course happens all the time. It’s more of a question of “could a husband and wife survive infidelity first place? If yes then could you still if you added a pregnancy not of you and your spouse?” Once again it depends on where, when and how the marriage is at that time. For me I would find a way to make it work.

  56. Jeremy

    My wife got pregnant by another man. He was a minister at the time and a family friend. He split the cost of the abortion with my wife. His wife left him. My wife and I are still married.

  57. Michelle

    I’ve always had thoughts and fantasies since before my wife and I were married, of her being impregnated by another man. I’m a submissive, attractive crossdresser, and my lovely wife knew of my fetish since before we were married. I not only have a small dick [4+ in.]; but I often felt that if I fathered a baby with her, and it was a boy, if she would wonder and worry that it would turn out to be a CD like me, and she would resent me. I often wonder why she married me, as she is a lovely and attractive woman, and would have no trouble getting a ” Real Man ” to get her pregnant. I’ve always had these fantasies about her having sex with other men, but could never figure out a way to tell her. I didn’t think she could be open-minded or accepting enough to include it in our marriage. Maybe too little; too late.

  58. Jeremy

    My wife got pregnant by the 2nd man she had an affair with. She had an abortion. That was July of 2017. We’ ll be married 18 years in July of 2018.

  59. Thapelo

    Going through this right now my wife got pregnant by another man two months after our wedding and told me when she was one year old. I am currently filing for divorce I ain’t raising a bustard, he’ll no! But luckily for me we are married out of community of property and don’t have other kids together!

  60. annie

    I’m the cheat wife in my marriage. I had 1 kid and then we got married . 2 years later had our first child a son while pregnant my husband left me said it was too stressful so we stayed living apart for 3 years than I kept asking him to move in with the kids and I and he kept telling me no he didn’t want to.. we had a big fight over the phone and I got with a guy that I fell for but I still loved my husband and he knew it but I was so hurt by him choosing not to even visit the kids or I while split. I found my kid holding a gun I knew nothing about so we broke up and went are different ways.. a week later my husband moved back in the next week found out I was pregnant I told both guys right away even did paternity asap but the same day I did the pregnancy test my husband mega stepped up and said she’s mine I don’t care she’s mine, The other guy pays what he can in child support not much but he’s trying but doesn’t have anything to do with our kid tells her he loves her but wants my husband to be her full time dad. she carries our married last name and we have 5 children after her so total 7 kids and anytime he gets mad about something small says he’s still mad 2 of my kids aren’t his.. I’m really not sure what else to do I feel like he says that like I owe him something I feel like we have 7 children and only 1 born while we where together it was 7 years ago that I cheated and he only made it to our first child’s birth. Why wait till now to say it hurts him every day. He drivers OTR so he’s gone 3 months home 4 days I think his over thinking things..I think I love him more he thinks I don’t care for him at all. I just keep trying!


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