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Why does my wife constantly bitch?

Married Couple Not HappySome people are chronically negative and that can be a serious drag, especially when you have to live with them; but most of the time there’s stuff going on there that has more to do with deep feelings of self contempt, depression disguised as hatred for everything and everyone in the world, and deeply rooted dissatisfaction with life in general. Understanding why your wife complains all the time isn’t going to make the complaining become more tolerable; but it might be a more effective start in helping her to work on the underlying issues than taking the approach of belittling her feelings and disrespecting her by labeling her complaining as “bitching”.

A wife who complains all the time is an unhappy wife. A husband who considers his wife’s complaining “bitching” tends to be an impatient or otherwise not supportive husband. When her husband is not supportive and makes her feel worse about her situation by treating her like she’s a nuisance and her feelings don’t matter to him and furthermore her talking about her feelings is annoying to him, a wife is obviously going to have more to complain about; and the more she complains the more annoyed her husband is going to become for as long as he maintains that attitude of not really caring to get to the bottom of what is making his wife complain all the time. In such a situation both parties would appear to lack productive and constructive communication skills. You both need to work at creating an environment where you can express yourselves in a manner that promotes understanding and that’s intended to make things better for both of you. Happy people don’t complain all the time so if your wife is complaining all the time the first thing you should realize is she’s unhappy. It’s not your responsibility to make her happy but her unhappiness is causing you discomfort, frustration and misery so it’s obviously not in your best interest to make the situation worse by coming across like you don’t give a damn and you find her annoying and wish she’d stop “bitching” all the time.

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Why does my wife constantly bitch?, 5.4 out of 10 based on 17 ratings
0 18 10698 26 November, 2011 Marriage Itch November 26, 2011

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  1. vivian


    Just came across reading this story sounded like me and my ex husband remembering those words ” bitching, complaining too much, your never happy”. Then he would get annoyed turn to others sources instead of dealing with me. Which our relationship was abusive to each other. We did never really take the time to look at our marriage a few couseling sessions, but we did ended up separated in 2008 i moved out and he cant couseling for a year due to his anger problem and now he takes things as flow. As for me i have been diagnosed with possible bipolar and depression, unemployed. Maybe that was part of the fighting, i do grieve my family life sometimes.

  2. Mr. I am somebody too

    I think that first paragraph underestimates the term chronically negative, and also how a person like that can eat away at your bone marrow! and also the label of bitching is just a more illustrative description of the consistant all the time complaining, I’m so sick and tired of people always putting all the responsibility on the husband to see his wife through her consistent inability to adapt to life situations. She very well has a responsibility as well to try to keep him happy just as much as he has to keep her happy, through this sometimes miserable situation that we call life. My wife of 7 years has fit the same description as above, no matter how patient I am, no matter what kind of Finance we’ve got, no matter how kind I am, no matter how sensitive I am, no matter how loving I am, no matter how faithful I am, no matter how much interest I show, no matter how attentive I am, and yes no matter how good the sex is, she always has her lip stuck out about . She’s consistently insecure to a point that I can’t go anywhere without a full investigation ” and no I have never cheated”. It sucks to have a person like that in Anyones life. my suggestion to women who fit this description, is that if you have a man, who is willing to be patient with you through your dilemmas, is to meet him halfway and show him rewards for his working with you, in other words if he’s giving you 30 percent effort you give him 30 percent results and so on. I hate to sound so insensitive, but ladies yes the Bible says you are the weaker vessel, but your husband is human as well and has needs as well, if he has to fight through feelings to keep a better relationship so do you! forgive me if I have stepped on any toes.

    1. ted bridges

      thank you for your understanding of a bad situation. i am to tired of the blame being put on the husband. i am a good man and faithful husband. my wife was the cheater at one time and also a constant downer for life. i forgave her and i have also made changes in my life because she says she needed more help or i wasn’t doing enough to help her. she is happy for maybe 1 weeek after i put another change in my life to supposedly help her, then it is back to business as usual. no matter what i do she is going to be this way. i am constantly under investigation and that alone is working on my attitiude and possibly my relationship with my wife. i am doing nothing wrong and have never done nothing wrong. i am not a perfect man but i do not do things that hurt or should cause any kind of doubt in my wifes thinking about me but she does it anyways. i have shared my feelings about how this is making me feel and what it could do to our marraige if it does not stop. but of course i am even more of a jerk for being honest about it. the whole situation gets turned towards me as soon as i fight back like i started the whole bad situation whatever day it seems to fall on. everyone i know tells me to leave her and be happy again. the funny thing about all of this is my wife is constantly saying i miss the old you and why are you so unhappy. does she not see it? or is it to play with my head even more.

      thanks for understanding

  3. John

    Yeah, sounds like a woman wrote this. Looks like its a give and take but seems like tge ultimate problem it the male it this situation. Have to say that this is the worst advise ever. Nothing in a relationship is ever one sided.maybe the woman is generally just a “bitch”. Stop making everything politically correct. After contacting my wife’s ex’s i have found that she has never been happy. And the word bitch has been used alot.and non of them ever got dumped. Sge enjoys belittling men. Period.

  4. Laki

    Maybe the husband gets the blame because he’s not supportive. Seems like all of you could give a f*ck less if your wife is happy. If she raises your kids, cleans your house and deals with your bullshit then I think you can suck it up and actually care about what she’s complaining about. Chances are its not you. Don’t take shit so personally. Definitely don’t say she’s bitching constantly or she will continue to bitch more because that’s what you then deserve for being unsupportive and rude. If you aren’t happy then leave.

  5. Jimmy white

    You don’t get it, if you care for someone that has a problem and lives in the past, you are stuck. My wife is ok, she just gets mean when she drinks and starts to analyze the relationship through beer bottle glasses. It’s not that we aren’t being supportive, it’s that you can’t fix something that is bottled up in someone that thinks everyone else has a problem.

  6. Shelly Ann

    My husband told me i am constantly attacking him. I am complaining a lot. But mind me, if i dont say any of my sentiments, he wont really have time to listen. We dont really talk unless,i complain, as to what he describe it. We dont have a normal day to day conversation unless i have a complain. I wanted to ask everyone here, do you call it attacking when you are trying to say things that had hurt you because of the husband?

  7. Shelly Ann

    Sometimes i feel that i would just vanish so my husband will feel my importance. We had an argument about how much he spent things for his kids.i really appreciate it when he spend less for me. I do not care if he buys things for his kids but sometimes its not practical. Today we had an argument because my words, maybe because english is not may native language, were taken in a wrong context. Im so depressed that i do not see whatever i do, i still feel im not important. It hurts to know that his kids will get into this argument. I just want to die coz my heart is just so heavy.

  8. Michelle Gardner Hartley

    My husband and teenage kids say that I bitch all the time. It doesn’t matter what I say or do , I am always the bitch. What is so frustrating to me, is that they give zero shits as to why I am bitching and miserable. I personally think women bitch and nag because we feel like we are being ignored, disrespected, and are made to feel unimportant . We didn’t start off as bitches and naggers and we definitely don’t want to be. When it gets to that point, it’s because we have exhausted all options of trying to communicate and being a bitch is all we have left . It’s when we stop bitching ,is when you will know that we are completely done and it’s over .

    1. Laura

      That is so true! Altho I am reading this bc actually I’m not the one “bitching”, my husband does far more than I ever would. I think he is depressed but I also feel like I am unimportant, disrespected and ignored by him. I think I am at the done stage. So over it and so tired of him. I try and voice my concerns about our marriage but I don’t think he cares, 1 reason I know is bc I have 3 marriage counseling books and workbooks thathe has yet to crack. I tell him how he hurts me or my feelings, then he tells me to stop the “pity party”. So I have been telling him that when he gets the “poor pitiful me”. He will be pitiful once he losses me bc he can’t work, hasn’t filed his disability yet and he will be homeless and insuranceless and out of his medications. (He has heart failure). But it will be his own fault bc my own mom can see thru his shit and I should be treated like a queen (that’s what he used to tell me he would do once we were married)yeah right huh? But I should be bc without me he would have nothing. And he feels he can treat me with no care, concern in the world. I’m so over it.

  9. Jason Smith

    I think its a case of - as woman get older they simply get grumpier and more miserable. I also think a lot of this has to do with lack of self esteem because as they get older their looks fade away terribly in comparison to when they were younger and that takes a huge toll on them. If you google about woman getting older and the correlation to them getting more miserable you will find this has been researched and found to be the case all over the world. Sorry guys but its just the way they change as they get older and there isnt much good that comes from it.

  10. Ken Kallusky

    Exactly right Jason..And whomever thinks it’s the husbands job to keep the wife happy needs therapy..He is not a miracle man and cannot spend the rest of his life making the woman happy.It does not and will not work. Sorry girls, if your not happy, your husband is not the reason…

  11. Dale

    Happiness doesn’t come from what another person does or doesn’t do for you. If you leave your dirty shit stained under wear on the floor your woman’s gonna bitch at you. It has nothing to do with happiness. If a women’s spends all her time and money without you. It’s time to leave. Same for the husband. Life’s to short to be miserable.

  12. donovandakon

    Fuck marriage. Fuck wives. Fuck this broken institution that our own miserable parents shlucked onto us, their children, so that we can grow up and be miserable just like them!


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