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I feel like my marriage is BS

My husband and I have been together for 8 years. I had two daughters before him and then we had a son together. We have a lot in common but we don’t. My husband is deeply addicted to sex with me. It’s because I have allowed it to happen. He has to have sex at least once mostly twice a day every day. It takes me about 3 days after an orgasm to feel aroused again. But he will take it wether I am laying there like a dead fish or not. He absolutely knows that I am not in the mood but he just flips my leg over his body and does what he has to do and then rolls over and goes to sleep. I love sex and he can pleasure me but I don’t want to have sex with him anymore. I don’t want him to touch me. I feel like he just uses me and I hate him and resent him. When I am in the mood I am mostly fantasizing about what I want to happen or another man. He thinks he is the one pleasing me but in reality it is just my brain making it happen as Im using his body. I just want normal sex, normal love, I crave for my body to be admired and caressed and this leads me to want to cheat. I have told him no and he gets very angry and starts slamming doors and getting loud. Even when his kids are in bed. It terrifies me to tell him no and see his anger. I don’t want to have to call the cops on him. He has never hit me or cheated I know for sure because he is too stuck up my butt. I can’t have a girls night or anything because he can’t sleep without me and he’s jealous of my friends. He works his butt off and for that I am grateful. He is also very addicted to marijuana. Now i am not a hater of the substance but he will spend crazy amounts of money on it and therefore I feel like we are missing out on life’s greater things because we are broke after bills and his addiction. If we divorce I will have nothing. I will have to get a new place and start all over. I have health issues that prevent full time work. I am so trapped and my future looks bleak. I have sought counseling and she told me what I didn’t want to hear. He refuses to seek counseling for himself. He doesn’t think he has a problem. My counselor says that marriage counseling won’t help until he gets individual help. Is this marriage hopeless?

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0 2 147 28 January, 2018 To Divorce or not to divorce January 28, 2018

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  1. Marie2

    Nothing is ever hopeless. When you say for better or for worse till death do us part…It can sometimes feel all your getting is someone’s worst. We all come into relationships with issues. I had to sleep in a separate room because my husband had such a high sex drive . He ended up cheating on me for years because I said no so much. It was too much for me. I longed for intimacy and romance and what I had was a sex crazed ape. Lol. Not funny. It’s taken us 22 years and a near divorce for him to grow up and stop being so sex crazy and consider my feelings and needs. He’s 53 now and his hormones have calmed down a lot now. Now I am more sex crazed than him. It’s a cruel joke mother nature plays on us. Sex drive hormones are very strong. You drive him wild you poor thing. Try to insist on caressing and slowing things down. I had to start to sing him up at one point and makein g love slowly to him. Men will crave sex when they aren’t feeling desired by their aivez. Your allowing him to have sex with you could be helping calm his anxieties about not feeling desired or wanted. Maybe he is very insecure. Try flipping the tables for a month or two and see if that calms his addiction down. Men are very emotionally complicated because they often can t verbally express what their feeling cause they don’t know most the time. Ughhh. Don’t give up.


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